A Mermaid's Tale
by CrazyJayne
Summary: The story of a bounty hunter, her ship, and a rather large price on the head of one Jayne Cobb.
1. Hunter

Disclaimer: Firefly and her crew are not mine, all hail Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy etc.

Feedback is welcome.

This is the beginning of a fair-sized story I have been working on over the past few weeks, getting back to writing for the first time in several years. Special thanks to Neroli, Silk1, Tori Deathangel, Inalasahl and KateShines, as reading their work gave me the inspiration to start this. I thought I would begin by putting it up in bits and see what people thought. So, people?

I share the Jaynegang's obsession with all things Jayne. I like the River/Jayne pairings out there, but I imagine him with someone older, more of a challenge, so to speak. So, here she is.

Chinese translations:

feng le: crazy, insane  
hun dan: lout, damn fool  
qin qie di xian sheng: kind gentleman  
tao yan di pi ren: repugnant unprincipled person  
  
Hunter

Selene smoothed the rich gold tunic she had chosen to wear over the flowing orange and yellow petals of skirt that fell to her ankles. She carefully pulled from a small carved wooden box a delicate gold chain, and two very substantial gold wrist cuffs, which she placed as the only adornment on her otherwise bare and pale arms. The gold chain, with it's tiny heart pendant ringed in perfectly cut, tiny diamonds, was placed gently back into the box, with only the slightest hesitation. Selene closed the lid.

She looked into the full length mirror to survey the results. Although no longer a young woman, Selene was quite stunning, and even she had to admit she was proud of her appearance now. She had already spent at least an hour on her makeup and hair, while in transit. Her changeable eyes (at the moment seemingly very blue) were lined with kohl, and painted in shimmery golds and coppers. Her lips, painted copper. Her hair, well, it was staying put. She had swept up her unruly shoulder-length auburn curls into a chignon, pinned it with two black lacquer and gold combs, and left tendrils swirling at her face and back of her neck. The skirt and tunic lengthened her already tall frame, and altogether she looked appropriately elegant.

Although she was only going aboard a grimy space station in the furthest reaches of the habitable 'verse (and hopefully for only the briefest of visits), Selene wanted to look every bit the part of the companion she was pretending to be. If they suspected an impostor, things could become very uncomfortable, very quickly, and the small knife she had hidden in a leather sheath strapped to her upper right thigh would be little defence against angry slave traders.

Selene breathed deeply, and thought about her upcoming performance. To pull off this particular job, she would need to appear imperious and high-handed without being too arrogant, enough to throw the traders off their guard, to give in to her requests, but not so much as to piss them off.

"Alright, time to go", Selene said out loud as she turned, slipped on a pair of golden wedge slippers. They would help with the gliding walk she would need to carry off the demeanour of a seasoned companion. She really did prefer her sturdy leather boots, made for her by a master cobbler on Persephone, the ones with the real rubber soles, but they were safely stowed away, out of sight. Joining them was her usual casual attire, all linen and cotton and leather: worn and snug khaki pants, slim-fitting tanks, loose shirts, clothes that made her feel real and connected to the worlds she only visited. This silk, satin and brocade get up she had on made her feel, as her friend Ban-Wei would say, like a sheep on its hind legs. She liked to remember Ban-Wei's voice, with it's outlier accent and colourful slang, she could even imitate it pretty well when the situation called for it. But it wasn't her. Nor were the cultured tones she used when in her guise of companion. Today, her casual persona and simple clothes were hidden away. Today she would speak like a companion as well as look like one.

Selene looked at her surroundings once more. The interior of her shuttle was decorated as a travelling companion's should be, not lush exactly but certainly neat and well-appointed, clean, and with any luck it would not be viewed at all by any of the traders. But one should always be prepared for uncomfortable possibilities, she thought.

She breathed deeply once more, and approached the airlock, where her shuttle had been docked the past 20 minutes or so during her final preparations.

On the other side of the airlock was a rather grubby little man, who didn't seem to know whether to have his jaw on the floor in some kind of awe, or leer at Selene suggestively. She suppressed the twin urges to smack him and vomit, and demanded to be shown the merchandise.

...

Jayne Cobb was a man not unused to pain. He currently coming out of a drugged stupor, had been beaten rather badly (he remembered with a grim mental smile that he had taken down at least five of them before he was subdued), and was bound hand and foot, gagged, and blindfolded. He was kneeling on the ground, surveying the various pains as they hissed their way through his awareness. His mind was racing a mile a minute, and he had already thought of dozens of ways to affect his escape... if only he weren't bound hand and foot, gagged and blindfolded. And probably half out of his mind with the drugs they had pumped into him. And he was awful thirsty. That sensation had gotten him into this mess in the first place.

He had been grabbed outside a tavern on Hereafter, where he was having a well-deserved local brew after escaping a job that had, of course, gone horribly not according to plan. Mal and Zoë were to meet him there, but they hadn't showed yet. Jayne had been mad as a hornet in a glass jar, waiting around for the two of them in that tavern. He had stalked out back to take a piss and check if there were any ladies lookin' for some company, when a bunch of men followed him outside and cornered him. Thinking about Mal and Zoë again, right now he was feeling mostly glad they weren't there. Misery might love company, but he didn't wish his current situation on anyone else, let alone shipmates who he had come to kinda like and respect and stuff. Damn, but he was thirsty.

He tried to put his dry cottony mouth out of his mind and focus on sounds. He had heard a shuttle dock, that he was sure of. He knew he was in space, smelt that in the recycled air. He could be on a ship, but he didn't hear the engine sounds of a ship around him. Maybe a space station then. The accents of his captors were strange, and speaking of which those men didn't seem to bear him any particular grudge. Slavers, most likely, he thought, 'cause anyone who has it out for me personally would've had words with me by now. And probably I wouldn't be breathing neither.

As Jayne was putting this together in his head, lining up his thoughts like bottles up against a wall, he heard voices, one of them a women, which piqued his curiosity.

...

Selene was incensed. The grubby little man, who told her his name was Clem, had taken her to a room filled with similarly grubby, tired-looking, skinny and poorly-fed young men, intimating to her that this was the selection from which she had to choose. She looked over the about eight or nine boys. Poor things. The thought jumped into her head before she had time to swat it aside. She steeled herself and focussed her animosity on the slaver. "Feng le hun dan! You must be mad" she said with disdain. "I am looking for a bodyguard, a manservant, not a little boy. I require protection; this is a dangerous part of the universe and I have little time for your idea of a joke". She felt snappish and thought that her first impulse to smack the little man called Clem had perhaps been the best one she had that day. Instead, she forced a smile, and wheedled ever so slightly. "Qin qie di xian sheng, surely you must have other slaves or indentureds I could part from you? Indeed, I can't think that you would allow me to go off into this system unprotected? You seem a man of honour..." and she let the sentence drop, as she lowered her eyes demurely.

Clem was once again torn between picking his jaw up off the floor and leering. "Don't see many companions out here" he managed to sputter, "This is all we got for sale right now, but I do have a couple in the back what we just recently, uh, acquired, shall we say, but they ain't been broken or fitted, or nothing..."

Selene seized upon this opportunity. And Clem's grubby arm, to her amazement without wincing or vomiting. Clem seemed similarly amazed. "Well why didn't you say so, let's take a look, shall we?" and steered him towards where he had indicated "the back" to be, and allowed him to lead her along the corridors of the station.

They entered a room with seven men, all bound and gagged and blindfolded. Most were lying down, or on their knees. Selene recognized her target immediately, but felt instinctively she should play coy with Clem. She needed to successfully pull this off. She pointed at one of the men, who had managed to stand, but now stood slouching in a corner. "What about him?" she asked of Clem. "Tell me about him."

Clem looked at the man Selene had pointed out —- a tall, well-muscled man, short dirty blond hair -— and pulled out some sort of electronic device from his pocket, poking the keys. Selene had to stay her reflex to attack Clem when she saw him go for his pocket -— a weapon was her first thought -— but she did visibly relax when she saw the portable vid and the information it scrolled through upon Clem's command. Luckily, Clem was too absorbed in his current task to notice the "companion" seemed a mite jumpy.

"Rawwhht". Clem drawled the word out until it was almost unrecognizable. "This feller's name is Borden Smith, according to his ident. 'Course, that could be an alien or sumpin". Selene translated in her head quickly. Alias, alien, same diff. out here, she thought.

"But you think he mighta stolen a better ident than a serial rapist's, given the option...". Clem leered at Selene, who supposed she must not have looked appropriately horrified, since then Clem began to outline Mr. Smith's rape, murder, and dismemberment preferences as set forth in over 16 arrest warrants. Selene could see them well enough on the vid.

"Well then, whether or not he is this Mr. Smith, he is clearly unsuitable for my requirements" Selene interjected, before Clem could assail her with any more unsavoury details. Selene was steering back to imperious now, cold and business-like. "Let's move along then, shall we?" She watched her technique work, as Clem stuttered a bit and his expression returned from leer back to awe. Time to go for what she came for. "Him", she pointed at Jayne, who was on his knees, head bowed down. "What's his story?"

Clem stared for a moment at Selene. This one looked way scarier than her first choice, a real tao yan di pi ren, and for a moment he wondered if this companion wasn't a bit off her rocker. But, he mentally shrugged, a sale is a sale, I gots no interest if she gets herself killed by her own bodyguard. Long as it ain't on my station. He stared at the vid, as it spewed out details from the man's ident card. "Fergus Mitchell. Farmer. Indentured family, paid out a coupla years back. No criminal record."

He glanced back up at "Fergus". No way that man was just a farmer. Took out five very tough men before they could get him sedated. Helping their "drunk friends" was the easiest way to gather their quota without raising too much suspicion on the nearby worlds. Though, most of the tavern owners had probably figured out Clem's business by now. Seemed to be a lot of drunk off-worlders who were "friends" with Clem's men!

Clem knew the man not likely really named Fergus would fetch a good price — he looked to be strong enough to handle any manner of hard work, and Clem thought it possible he could be ex-military, maybe a merc. That bit about no criminal record almost made Clem laugh when he read it out, this guy didn't learn to fight like that on a farm. Prison, work camps, or the military. Maybe a bit of each....

Selene meanwhile was thinking along the same lines as Clem, watching the wheels in his mind turn, knowing that she would need to make an attractive offer for the little grub to give up what she wanted.

"Take off his blindfold, please", she said, her tone haughty. Clem started a bit, as he was deep into thinking about price. He didn't want to go anywhere near the man, the memory of five of his badly bruised and beaten men still fresh in his mind. "Now, please." Selene was pushing and she knew it, she read the hesitation and slight fear in Clem and she wanted to keep her advantage and keep him off-kilter.

Clem found himself walking towards Fergus without even realizing he was doing so. Is it too late to call for some muscle to do this, he thought. Yeah, if he did that now, he would look like a coward. He did pause for a moment then, and took out what appeared to be a smallish baton from a holster at his hip. It hummed. Electric, thought Selene, a cattle prod or the like.

Before he had been selected for examination by Selene, Jayne had been deep in thought, calculating his position in the room, where the woman was, where Clem was. He tried to hold himself very still throughout the conversation, and he continued to remain nearly motionless as Clem approached. There were a coupla ways to play this, he had thought to himself. He could try to take out the slaver who was approaching him now, then the girl, then who knows how many others before he got to a shuttle or some other way off this gorram piece of space junk. Or he could sit tight, play at being the obedient slave, take a good long look at this girl, maybe play up to her, and make his escape when she took him out of this place. Patience was not Jayne's strong suit, but he was learning, he thought. He listened to her voice when she spoke, her voice was deep and clear, cultured, educated. Sounded like Inara a bit, the way her voice lilted softly, yet with a force and confidence behind it, like she knew she could bend the will of any man to whom she spoke.

He sensed Clem coming behind him, but he kept his head down until Clem yanked it back by tugging on the blindfold. He breathed in and prepared himself.

He wasn't expecting the sight of her when Clem ripped off that blindfold. She was shiny. In every sense of the word. She seemed to gleam, her skin, her clothes, just ... her, and Jayne looked at her just like Clem had, a bit in awe and a bit of a leer. Of course, he didn't even see Clem's expression, since the little grub stayed behind him, electric baton at the ready if Jayne made any trouble at all. Nevertheless, he gaped at Selene, and made the realization that he had the good fortune of being sized up for sale to a companion. Oh, this just was too good for words. He could get outta this gorram place right now if he didn't screw it up....

Selene knew it was him when she walked in the room, long before the blindfold came off; she just wanted to be absolutely sure. Now that she could see his eyes, she studied him, coldly and clinically, both for the benefit of Clem and for her own mental record. It was apparent he had been battered a bit, there was bruising to his left eye, and some swelling at his jaw and temple. A big man, tall, broad in the shoulders and thighs, solidly muscled. Hair short and dark, eyes blue. She looked into his eyes, and was a little surprised to see them pleading to her. She could feel fear rising from him. What she had read of his ident profile (his real one) did not lend itself to such weakness, she thought. It must be this place, he wants out. And likely he is trying to play me, looking for all the world like a lost puppy. Well, let him think his puppy-dog eyes are doing their work, it'll make it easier for me to get him out of here.

"And the gag, please", Selene ordered. Jayne's eyes widened slightly. Don't screw up, his brain commanded him. Clem, from his guarded position behind Jayne, looked every bit as confused as Jayne did. But Selene was definitely in her role, and Clem obeyed her after a very slight hesitation. The gag came out of Jayne's mouth, but he kept quiet —- he was listening to his brain for once and he didn't trust himself to not say something stupid. Besides which, his tongue felt like an old sock in his mouth, and kinda tasted that way too. He didn't even know if he would be able to talk again ever, his throat was so dry. Weren't even able to moisten his lips, his whole mouth felt so gummy.

"Get him some water, please, I need to ask him some questions". Selene knew the effects of the drugs and gag on one's ability to speak, and she also knew she would have to continue to play her part —- no companion was going to travel with a bodyguard who would, by association, make her appear less than professional and cultured. Clem was still gawking, but this time he had the presence of mind to call for some muscle for assistance, while he continued to guard the prisoner. The muscle, in the form of an enormous bald man, both tall and wide, entered the small prisoner holding room, with what appeared to be a canteen of some sorts. He stood in front of Jayne, who had straightened up and kept his back stiff and tall, his head up, eyes straight ahead. The muscle grabbed Jayne by the hair at the back of his head with his left hand, and roughly jerked his head back, pouring the canteen's content into Jayne's mouth with his right. Jayne sputtered a bit, but surprisingly managed to swallow a good portion of the metallic-tasting water, and only a small amount overflowed from his mouth, down his chin, and onto his t-shirted chest. The muscle released Jayne's head and stepped back in the same swift movement. Actually fairly impressive for such a massive guy, thought Selene.

"Good. Now, Mr. ... ", Selene began. "Mitchell", Clem supplied at her hesitation. Selene nodded at Clem, "Thank you", and then continued to speak to Jayne. "Mr. Mitchell, you are a farmer by trade?"

Jayne couldn't help himself. He gawked. The water stain on his t-shirt and being all tied up and helpless and on his knees made him feel like an even bigger idiot than how he usually felt talking to a cultured lady, and he still didn't know if he was even able to speak. And his brain kept screaming at him not to blow this chance to get out of this place, and it was making him jittery. He gathered his wits about him, swallowed again, and licked his lips. "Yes ma'am". He managed to gruffly push the words out. His voice sounded strange even to him though. A bit strangled. Nervous. Gorramit, he had to get out of here!

"Have you had any schooling?" Selene saw the look of pleading and fear in the man's eyes. She wasn't heartless, and she felt a pang of guilt keeping the man wondering if she would abandon him to the mercy of these slavers, but she pushed that thought down. He doesn't deserve your pity, Selene, she thought to herself. Save that for those he has hurt or killed over the years.

"Some, ma'am, I'm afraid education wasn't so important where I grew up". Jayne was using his very best manners and words. He really wanted to swear, he was tired and beaten up and ready to kill someone, but he knew he had to be on his best behaviour. He wasn't stupid, just impatient. Plenty of times when he'd been out tracking he'd had to sit still and bide his time, this was no different....

Selene arched an eyebrow, and continued. "I am a companion. Do you know what that is?"

"Yes ma'am". Jayne kept his eyes on Selene and his head up.

"I am looking for a bodyguard, protection for my person and my belongings. Have you ever performed this sort of work?"

Jayne thought about telling the truth then, that in fact he had been a bodyguard of sorts—like many mercs he did whatever task his employer wanted at the time. He chose instead to answer like the farmer, Fergus Mitchell would. He shook his head slowly, and said, "No ma'am". He still kept his eyes locked with Selene's though, something a lowly farmer would likely not do.

"Do you think yourself capable of such work?" Selene kept her eyes locked with Jayne's. She was a little surprised he had not answered her last question in the affirmative, but then, she supposed he was just playing his role to the hilt. Just like she was....

"Yes, I believe so ma'am".

"I am often in very refined company, and I would require you to be silent in the presence of company, and of course I would expect you to discuss my clients and my affairs with no-one. Do you believe yourself capable of these ... restrictions?"

"Yes ma'am. I am a man of few words at the best of times". Jayne allowed himself to give a small, pleading smile to the companion. She really was something, he couldn't stop from staring. Be a shame to have to steal her ship, but a man's gotta do what he's gotta do, he thought. Anything to get out of this hole. Hope she won't fight too hard; wouldn't want to hurt her.

Selene was silent, looking at the kneeling man very coldly indeed. She saw the pleading in his eyes, his shy smile, but she saw the cunning underneath —- it seemed to scream from this man's every pore. She knew he would be perfectly willing to, and in fact likely would, inevitably, betray her. But he didn't have a clue who she really was. His reaction to that news would be interesting, she thought. The old adage "out of the frying pan and into the fire" came to mind. He held her gaze for a moment, then lowered his eyes and his chin, to appear humble in her presence, she supposed. And vulnerable. He's good, she thought.

Clem was still in his position behind Jayne. The muscle had positioned himself behind her, at the doorway to this small room. When Selene finally spoke again, it was to Clem. "Alright, he'll do". Clem was a bit surprised that the companion would want this big hick, but he recovered quickly enough to bargain with her. They were arguing prices, but the debate seemed to be little more than buzzing in Jayne's ears. He continued to focus on a spot on the floor, not allowing himself to smile or betray any feeling at all. He would be outta this hole, and with just a fancy woman between him and freedom, nothing could stop him once they were alone.

...

Almost an hour later, as Clem counted the rather generous number of gold and platinum coins Selene had given him (she had argued him down considerably from his rather ridiculous starting price), the big bald muscle man cut Jayne's bindings at his feet, leaving his hands still bound behind his back, and led him along to Selene's shuttle. Selene was already inside, seated at the console, making her preparations. She had left the airlock doors open to Clem's space station, and muscle actually knocked as he brought Jayne in.

"Do you want him doped for travel?" the big man asked, as he nudged Jayne into the shuttle before stooping to come in behind him. Jayne kept his head down the entire time, but his heart almost stopped —- if he was doped, escape would be impossible. Selene, still seated, reviewed the scene before her —- Jayne with his head bowed down, his body language indicating compliance and defeat -- and entertained the thought of having the big merc put out of commission for the journey. But something about it just didn't seem fair. Besides which, there were two very good reasons not to: first, she needed information from him, and that was best accomplished with her own mix of charm and pharmaceuticals; second, she had just bought a bodyguard, as far as these lumps were concerned. An unconscious bodyguard was of no use to a companion. Right. She would just have to handle whatever Jayne had planned for her. "No, thank you. You may seat him over there". Selene gestured to a well-cushioned chair, bolted to the floor about two feet or so from the shuttle bulkhead. The muscle led Jayne, his hands still bound behind his back, to the chair, and pushed Jayne's shoulders to seat him there. As the chair was low to the ground, Jayne found his knees nearly reached his chin, and the cushions seemed to suck him right it. He would find it a mite difficult to get out of this confounded chair. He stared straight ahead, trying to keep from looking frustrated, while he kept thinking about his soon-to-be daring escape.

"Thank you for your assistance, Mr. ....?"

"I'm called Rabb, ma'am".

"Thank you, Rabb. You may tell Mr. Clem that I shall be launching in about five minutes". Selene smiled graciously from her seat, and nodded her goodbye to Rabb, who squeezed back out the airlock without closing the hatches between the space station and the shuttle. Selene sighed. She got up and closed the hatches and secured them, and then turned to Jayne, who sat expressionless in her favourite comfy chair. "Right, we'd better secure you then, Mr. Mitchell". She was going to keep up the pretences for just a little while longer. Jayne looked up at her, thinking he had an opportunity here, with her having to get close, but he wasn't sure if this was the right time to make his move. Better to gain her trust and then.... He tried to keep his expression neutral.

Selene approached him quickly, and brought out a metal band about six inches wide from the drawer of a table in front of him. She worked very quickly, wrapping the band across his chest and around the back of the chair, where she fastened the ends together, he didn't know how. All the sudden he was pinned to the chair. He didn't hardly have a chance to move before she was all done. And when she was close to him, it seemed all he could do was breathe in her scent. She smelled like apples, and fresh berries. Dammit Jayne, keep your head clear! She moved in front of him again, as he was now a prisoner in her comfy chair, and she smiled warmly at him. She looked right into his eyes, and Jayne held her gaze. She put her hand on his knee. Her hand felt warm through the fabric. Jayne could smell her and feel her warmth so close to him, and wondered for a crazy moment if the companion had bought him to be her man-whore. Damn, but that wouldn't be the worst thing ever happened to him!

"There, now you won't get tossed around, and we can get to know each other without you trying to jump me and take over my ship". She had said it with a smile, and so matter-of-factly that Jayne couldn't help his expression: he gawked. Again.

"Wh... What makes you think I would do sumthin' like that?" he managed to sputter. She just smiled, infuriatingly, and said, "Mr. Cobb, I wasn't born yesterday."

And with that, she removed her hand, got up, turned and sat in the pilot's chair, and began takeoff procedure. They were in the air before her comment fully registered. Gorramit, she had called him Mr. Cobb. She knew who he was, and she had known all along. So, likely she didn't want him to be her man-whore.

Well, he thought, at least he wasn't on that gorram slaver station anymore; maybe this would turn out to be a good thing. Jayne doubted that, but he had little to do strapped into this comfy chair. He needed to keep his mouth shut too, until he learned what she was up to. So he just sighed, and relaxed. He would stay alert, though, in case she tried anything funny.


	2. Lies

Disclaimer: Firefly and her crew are not mine, all hail Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy etc.

Feedback is welcome.

Chapter 2 of the ongoing story. Y'all know I share the Jaynegang's obsession with all things Jayne…

Chinese translations:

Gou shi: crap, worthless thing

Dai tu sha: massacre

lan diao la ji: rotting trash

Ai ya: damn, oh my

Hua le: ruined, spoiled, exclamation of bad news

Wo men wan le: we're finished, doomed, in big trouble

gou cao de: dog-humped

wei bing gou: guard dog

feng kuang di hou zi: crazy monkey

le se: garbage

Lies 

Jayne's next thought was that he must have fallen asleep. He had, in fact -- he guessed that the drugs the slavers gave him were still in his system. The lights were dimmed down, and although he could see the pilot's chair, he could not see Selene. He tried to turn his body but found the metal strap held him fast. He could still turn his head though, and he surveyed his surroundings as best he could. The shuttle was very clean, neat, a little like Inara's but not so much frippery. Didn't look like the inside of a genie bottle. He tried to look over his shoulder and was rewarded by the sight of Selene, curled on her side and half covered with a white blanket, as she lay on the only other major piece of furnishing in the shuttle, a bed draped with sheer white curtains. She was still fully dressed in her finery from the station, clutching that blanket to her body a little. Through the gauzy curtains, her eyes closed and face softened, her hair removed from its confines and curls falling all over, she looked much gentler than when Jayne had first encountered her on the slavers' space station. He wondered at her age —- he had never been good with guessing a lady's years, but if he had to, he would guess she was older than 30, but maybe just. Older than Inara, then. Older than Saffron or whatever her name was, though her hair was a like shade. Likely younger than him. But without a doubt way smarter. He wondered all sorts of things about who she was and why she came to get him outta that slaver station, but his thoughts kept returning to the scent of her, fresh apples.

She stirred, and Jayne turned back. Best to keep his mouth shut and his mind clear, he thought, otherwise he didn't stand a chance.

Selene woke with a start, with the distinct impression she was being watched, but when she sat up, the only other person in the shuttle was faced to the front, as he had been when she saw him fall asleep. She looked at a small readout beside her bed —- she had slept for only about an hour. Enough to refresh her, but now she had to change and get back to her ship. She pushed aside a gauze curtain and left the bed, barefoot, passing behind a black lacquer screen, painted in gold and red with designs of ancient China from Earth That Was. A real antique, one that she was quite proud of. She pressed the series of buttons to reveal the hidden compartment in the shuttle's deck containing her regular clothes, and removed them from their hiding place. She slipped out of the fancy silk tunic and skirts, and the gold bracelets (and her little knife and holster), and pulled on her soft brown cotton trousers, a matching fitted tank top, and a soft cream-coloured linen shirt. She pushed her feet into her favourite boots and zipped them up. She re-affixed the holster and knife, over her trousers, at her upper thigh. At a small vanity she splashed water on her face and used a facecloth to wipe off most of her dramatic make-up. When she was done, she surveyed the results in the small mirror, and felt like she was finally staring back at herself. The companion garb and accoutrements were becoming too heavy for her to bear, she thought. She used to enjoy playing dress-up, but now when she had to resort to the role of companion for a job, she felt trapped, somehow, in an image that wasn't her.

Jayne, meanwhile, listened to her movements. The impatient and impulsive part of him wondered if he should speak, 'cause waiting for her to say something to him was driving him nuts. The tracker, the calculating part of his brain said, patience Jayne, don't reveal anything. Let her make the first move, listen and learn, and make your plans from there.

Selene paused for a moment in her toilette. She also listened, although it seemed there was little noise in the shuttle besides the little she was making herself. She smiled. "I know you're awake, Mr. Cobb", she simply stated. Jayne was startled, it was as though she could hear him thinking. When Selene came out from behind her screen, she saw that Jayne's head was now turned towards her, and his eyes followed her as she made her way to the front of the shuttle. Jayne thought she was perhaps even more striking now, in her more mundane clothes, but did not say so. He tried to direct his thoughts and remain calm. "Really wanna know why I'm here", he said curtly, as Selene stopped, and sat on the edge of the table only a couple of feet from him. She didn't touch him this time. He could smell apples.

"Would you rather have remained with Mr. Clem and his friends? I rather thought you would show me a little more gratitude for … liberating you from that particular set of circumstances." Selene said it with a slight smile playing on her lips, although that smile did not carry to her eyes. In fact, her eyes betrayed no amusement at all. She leaned forward a little, studying Jayne as he considered his reply.

Jayne kept his eyes on her throughout. It was spooky, those eyes had been blue, he swore, now they looked kind of greeny-bluey, he just wasn't sure, even up close, what colour her eyes were. Right now, they were cold, calculating. He was very sure that this woman meant a world of trouble for him, and again schooled himself to be patient, and let her reveal her intentions to him. He finally spoke, "I would be much more grateful if I weren't still trussed up like a ruttin' bird for a holiday dinner. But at least the company here is a mite more pleasant" and with that Jayne gave her his very best leer, and grinned. To his amazement, he saw her smile move to her eyes for a brief moment before her eyes widened slightly, and she frowned at him.

Selene couldn't help herself, she actually found him a little charming. He was obviously smarter than she had initially thought, when she had first viewed his profile, and she saw in his eyes that he was also playing her, seeing what she was made of. That's when she caught herself, and frowned. Jayne Cobb was a dangerous man -- perhaps much more dangerous than she first had believed. And she had to get down to business.

"Mr. Cobb, I assure you that you will not find me pleasant at all should you not be completely cooperative with me. I am in no mood for games, and although we have some time to discuss what happens next, I will entertain no more nonsense from you. Are we clear?"

"Yes ma'am", Jayne said obediently. He thought once again how suited this woman was in her role as a companion, even though the clothes didn't match the cultured voice anymore. She was used to giving orders, and having them obeyed, that much was certain.

"Alright then. We might as well get started. My name is Selene. I am not a companion, as you may have already surmised. I was trained as a bounty-hunter and assassin. Freelance, I am not affiliated with the Alliance or any particular entity, although I pick up contracts from them from time to time. You would be Mr. Jayne Cobb, mercenary, wanted by the Alliance to answer charges of theft, assault, armed robbery, and murder of at least five men. I've been tracking you for a number of weeks, traced you to Hereafter, where you disappeared. Didn't take much to guess you'd been taken by slavers. So now you have become my latest capture. I had planned to turn you in to the proper authorities for a rather ridiculously large reward. But I got curious as to why the Alliance was offering such a large sum for what appeared to be a small-time crook and piece of gou shi such as yourself."

Jayne had been staring her right in the face from the moment she started talking. He was trying to absorb all she was saying; that was difficult because she was talking so quick and sounding so officious. Bounty hunter, assassin, charges, murder, reward…. Well, now he was a little steamed at that gou shi comment, and Selene paused right then to let her meaning sink right in, and she noted his anger at her insult. She smiled coldly, and continued.

"The big reward on your head is a result of your affiliation with two fugitives, Simon and River Tam, initially wanted for a double homicide on Osiris. Your warrant was posted after you were seen with the Tams on Ariel, and upon the discovery of the murdered bodies of eight federal police officers at St. Lucy's hospital in Capital City. The Alliance believes that you are a direct link to the Tams, and probably participated in the murders of the police officers in question. That is, of course, in addition to your own illustrious crimes."

"The reward for the capture of Simon and River Tam is substantial. Much more than I would get for turning you over to the Alliance. It is my belief that you are acquainted with the Tams, that you are either travelling with them, or have direct knowledge of their whereabouts. The Alliance, I imagine, is also working on this assumption -- that having you will lead them to the Tams. Now you know why I "rescued" you from that slaver station -- and my question to you is, Mr. Cobb, will you help me willingly, or do I have to wrench the knowledge of the Tams' location directly from your brain?"

With that, Selene sat back, took one last look at Jayne, and stood up. She sat in the pilot's seat, and checked her controls. "We have approximately 45 minutes until we reach my ship. I have facilities on board which can … encourage your cooperation. Take your time, and think carefully about how you would like this to go, Mr. Cobb." Selene was reasonably sure that the merc would help her to preserve himself -- she held back the discussion of money, leaving it up to him to bring it up should he appear willing to deal. What she saw before she turned her back was encouraging; although he appeared angry and, she was certain, felt trapped, she could see the wheels of his mind turning. She just needed to be patient, and let him think things through a mite.

Jayne, meanwhile, was incredulous —- his mind was travelling a mile a minute, trying to figure what to do, or what to say. He had done a good many things that he was not particularly proud of, and many other things that were just a part of the life he had chosen. He knew he had killed more than five men, but most all had been threatening him with imminent death themselves, and murder amongst criminals was hardly something the Alliance was interested in. But the murders of eight federals was another thing entirely. And what about the two others Simon and River were accused of?

Jayne considered for just a moment telling her what he heard and saw on Ariel, the screams, River's fear, all that they went through on Ariel, but he thought she would be unlikely to be persuaded by his story. In short, she wouldn't believe him —- he was supposed to be a murderer and a thug. She would believe his betrayal of the Tams, expected it, but she wouldn't understand his loyalty to them, or to anyone other than himself. That, he realized in the calculating part of his brain, could be the key to getting himself out of this in one piece.

Still grated him, her thinking that he was the scum of the 'verse, though why it bothered him so much he didn't rightly know. His arms had gone numb. It was making him tetchy. "Never killed no-one weren't threatening my life or the life of my crew", he muttered to himself, but loud enough that Selene could hear.

Selene, who had been leaning back in her chair, facing toward her console, spun around with that comment. "Eight federal officers, all threatening your life? Oh please, Mr. Cobb, your warrant suggested impulsive and violent, not delusional!" She stared straight at him. Jayne stared right back.

"Nope", he growled, "I'm not delusional, just that … you weren't there." And with that, he lowered his eyes and fell silent.

Selene sensed a whole host of emotions before Jayne lowered his gaze: guilt mostly —- hey, killing eight federals must have been an unusually violent day, even for this man -— but there was something else, something she couldn't quite put her finger on. She would need to keep a close eye on this one; there was definitely more to him than his profile hinted at. She spun back to her console and tried to put her attention back to the navigation controls.

Jayne, meanwhile, stayed quiet for many long minutes, turning his situation over and over in his mind. He kept thinking about how the gorram hell he was going to get out of this without betraying his shipmates —- even the idiot doctor didn't deserve this woman dragging him back to who knows where to collect some big reward. And River -- well, she'd been through enough. Did get him to wondering though, who the Tams were thought to have killed on Osiris. Should he risk asking? He decided he should…

"Who'd they kill on Osiris?" Jayne just blurted out, breaking the silence in the shuttle like shattering glass. Selene started a little; she hadn't expected him to have much to say but his question coming out of the blue, after such a long silence, and while she was deep in her own thoughts, was a mite jarring. She turned her chair around to face him. Jayne was looking at her, a slight frown (confusion?) on his features.

"Their mother and father" she replied simply, her eyes on Jayne, watching for his reaction. She saw shock register in his eyes, and she herself was a bit surprised by that. Could he have figured out she was a reader? No, his emotional responses seemed genuine enough. Maybe he really didn't know what kind of people he had taken up with. They certainly had the tools to appear to be respectable, the Tam siblings, but surely he would've figured out by now what they were capable of, she thought. Well, he would certainly know now, as she continued.

"Mr. and Mrs. Tam were found in their home on the Tam Estate on Osiris, slaughtered, there was blood everywhere, a real dai tu sha from the reports I've seen. Family belongings and heirlooms were missing, and at first officials believed the Tams had been unfortunate victims of a home-invasion robbery; however they couldn't find their two children, Simon and River Tam. Simon Tam didn't show up for his shift at the hospital where he worked, and River Tam was reported missing from her school only hours after that. The family belongings and heirlooms were found a few days later. They had been sold to an antique dealer, who swore a statement that the persons who sold the stuff to him matched the descriptions of Simon and River Tam."

Selene watched Jayne as his features registered this report with little emotion. It was strange, she thought, like he was wrestling with something she didn't quite understand. Then it was like a door in his mind slammed shut on her, and she was unable to get any reading at all from the merc. She frowned. How could he be blocking her?

Jayne meanwhile tried to organize his thoughts. It seemed unlikely, Simon and River, killing their own parents. But he remembered that first day, while River was still in that box, the Fed, Dobson, had shot Kaylee, and the doc refused to treat her until Mal turned the ship away from the Alliance. Mal's accusation rang in his ears: "What'd you do? Kill your folks for the family fortune?" Simon's face, panicked, when he denied it: "I don't kill people". And River, she knew her way with weapons. Knives, guns, she might not seem to like 'em much, but she sure knows how to use them. Cut him, shot those fellas on Niska's station. Jayne frowned, thinking to himself that he wasn't cut out for deductive reasoning; he was just a dumb merc, hired muscle. Likely he didn't know anything about the Tams at all. Who's to say that Simon didn't go crazy when he found out how bad off his loony sister was at that place, and gone all violent on dear old mom and pop for sending River off to the Academy? Or that River herself didn't do the honours before she and Simon hoofed it off that planet?

He struggled to put what he knew into some sort of order. He knew there were warrants out for the Tams; no secret that. But this bounty hunter, Selene, she never mentioned the Academy, and what happened to River there; she had said River was reported missing from school. The earlier warrants like the one Jubel Early had for the Tams' arrest didn't have anything about the Academy either. He didn't think Early hadn't mentioned the death of their parents neither. Something smelled about this, but for the life of him, Jayne couldn't figure it. Like he was missing some pieces of a puzzle. And his arms were truly fallen asleep.

"Huh", Jayne finally grunted. Selene was still watching him, still trying to see into him, get an idea what he was thinking. When he spoke again, he sounded resigned. Jayne wasn't putting on an act, he really saw no other way out, whether or not the Tams had really done this terrible thing.

"What kind of percentage can I expect for helpin' you out?" he asked. Selene grinned. She had him. She didn't need to see into his head to know.

"Well, Mr. Cobb", she began, "here's the thing. You are a wanted felon. But, since the Tams are wanted even more than you, capturing them will mean the likely cancellation of your warrant, and you would be free to go on about your usual business. I could ensure that your current problems with the law disappear. At least, until you get into trouble again, which considering your history would not take long. But that would not be my concern. The clearing of your warrant, plus a small bonus, say, 10,000 in platinum, would be your payment. For that, I will require detailed information on where to find Simon and River Tam, and in whose company I might find them. While I am on the bounty, you will remain my guest, and upon their capture, I will release you, and deliver your payment immediately."

Jayne guffawed. "Yeah, and I'm just supposed to trust you on that".

Selene got up from her chair, and sat on the edge of the table in front of Jayne. She looked right into his eyes, and put her hands on his knees. "I don't like to lie, Mr. Cobb" she began.

Jayne was keenly aware of her physical proximity to him, and struggled to keep his composure with her. He stared her right back in the eye, saying, "And playing a companion, getting on that slaver station, the stuff you told 'em, what are your feelings on that?"

Selene, her hands still on his knees, her eyes still locked with his, nodded, and smiled, although he noted that smile didn't reach her eyes. "You're quite right, of course. My profession and lifestyle necessitates lies; my very life depends on my ability to lie convincingly. I don't necessarily enjoy that aspect of this job. Of course I don't feel it necessary to fill in some gou shi slavers on my actual intentions; they don't need to know the truth about who I am, and who you are. Also, if they did know, they would very likely endanger my life and yours as well." With this she leaned in just a little further.

"The difference is, Mr. Cobb, that I am making you a promise. Now, if you were to ask those for whom I have done business about the quality of my word, each and every one of them would tell you that, come hell or high water, I keep my promises. So, when I promise you that in exchange for your cooperation, I will reward you with your freedom, a chunk of cash, and the clearance of your record; I will do my utmost to ensure that this is the result."

He watched as her eyes grew very cold then, the colour of icy cold steel, a hard blue-grey. "On the other hand, if I promise you that your refusal to cooperate with me will lead to me very painfully torturing you, and that I will retrieve the required information from whatever recesses of your brain I need to dig into, I can guarantee you that will happen. And I will get my information, one way or another."

She leaned back slightly now. "The way I see it, Mr. Cobb, what we require of one another right now is a measure of trust. Unfortunately, neither of us is willing to take those first steps to begin to trust the other. I don't trust that if I let you loose, you won't try to kill me and steal my ship. Given your record, you must see that this is a reasonable worry, on my part. And your dealings with the lan diao la ji of these backwater systems has left you with little ability to trust anyone at all, let alone a bounty hunter who you have just met, who has essentially kidnapped you, and makes promises which she can easily ignore once she gets what she wants. Do you think that is a fair assessment of our current situation, Mr. Cobb?"

Jayne held her gaze, a little sardonically, and nodded. Coulda said it with far less words, but that was about it.

"Well then Mr. Cobb, you are just going to have to decide to trust me, and decide what you are going to trust me to do."

Part of Jayne was still mesmerized by the sound of her voice, the low and rich timber of it, the scent of her hair, the warmth of her hands on his knees … but he also heard what she was saying. Didn't think he could trust her as far as he could ruttin' throw her, but he heard. A little part of him whispered that she sure seemed sincere though. Jayne, he thought to himself, don't be a fool. Keep her thinkin' she's gonna get what she wants from you, and maybe, just maybe, you'll get out of this with all your limbs and your brain (such as it is) intact.

Jayne nodded again, but before he could speak, a warning claxon sounded in the small shuttle. Selene broke contact with him, and jumped back to her console.

"What the hell is that?" asked Jayne, over the wailing siren.

"Damn" was all that Selene said for a moment, then "Ai ya! Hua le!".

The Alliance cruiser August filled the viewscreen of the shuttle. A number of smaller ships buzzed around her, like metal insects swarming a monstrous floating hive. The cruiser was directly between Selene and her ship, parked as it was on a small moon orbiting an uninhabitable gaseous planet.

Selene silently cursed a bit more, as this was possibly the worst thing that could have happened at this time. She thought there were no Alliance patrols in the area, let alone a cruiser. She actually let out a little laugh, the situation was so damn absurd. Jayne, from his view from the getting-to-be-less-comfy chair, figured things had just went from bad to worse, and he blurted it right out. "Somethin' funny 'bout this?"

Selene whirled around, ready to take the merc's head clean off his body with one of her best scathing looks, but he looked pretty damn pathetic pinned to the comfy chair right now, with a big freaking Alliance vessel looming in the viewscreen. She couldn't help it, she felt the laughter welling up. The last thing she needed now was the giggles, she thought. Too late. She started laughing out loud, and continued, while Jayne just stared like she had weasels in her hair. The look on his face just made it worse, until she could hardly stand up from laughing. Jayne, not too convinced that his kidnapper wasn't crazy to begin with, was now entirely convinced. Off her nut, she was.

As Selene gasped for breath, and finally felt like she could stop laughing, she looked up at her prisoner. "Oh, Mr. Cobb! Wo men wan le!" she said breathlessly. "This rather imposing Alliance cruiser is hailing us, and they are between this wee shuttle and my admittedly not much bigger ship. We are gou cao de, my friend".

Jayne just gaped at her. This woman was truly crazy. And he was at her mercy, tied to a chair. This was great. Just great.

Selene's survival instinct was kicking in, and she was figuring on a plan that would not change Jayne's view of her as a crazy woman, not one little bit. She steeled herself, approached the merc, and sat again on the table in front of him, keeping his eye contact, but not touching him. "Mr. Cobb, we have very little time before I have to answer them, and we are subject to a search by federal soldiers. I really don't see a way to avoid it. The biggest problem I see is that you are a wanted felon, and if they find out who you are, they will take you in. We both lose: you will definitely lose any chance you have for freedom and I will lose my very best chance to locate the Tams and collect my bounty. Because I am not an employee of the Alliance, and any property I have on board can and will be confiscated if they decide that I am harbouring a wanted fugitive. I am not willing for that to happen. But to avoid that, I will need your help."

Jayne's eyes widened and again he silently questioned the sanity of his captor. "Not really in much of a position to do that now, am I?"

Selene nodded. "Of course, I can't very well expect you to help me as my prisoner. So, for this to work, I have to free you; then we will both be in a position to help each other. This is my suggestion: I will forego the bounty on you, Mr. Cobb, if you will agree to join me to find Simon and River Tam. Together we'll split the reward. Say, 70/30. Do we have a deal?"

Jayne considered his options. That Alliance cruiser now filled the viewscreen completely, and the hail was getting more insistent. "How do I know the second these guys take off, you won't decide this conversation never happened?"

Selene expected that. She held his accusing gaze, unwavering. "I swear to you, on my honour, that I will keep my promise, Mr. Cobb. I may be a hunter, but I'm not a crook. I don't play games, I don't double-cross, I don't play one side against another for a buck. This will be a business arrangement, and I will consider you my partner in this enterprise. I want you to understand that, as my business partner, I will always be honest with you, and I will expect the same from you. I asked you before for your trust. Now it appears we really are forced to trust one another. I will keep up my end. I now need you to offer me some assurances."

Jayne saw nothing in her eyes that was insincere. That was a little daunting, he thought. He had no time to suss this out. He had to decide right now…. "Alright, I'm in", he spat, "For 50/50, I'll do my part and won't try to steal your ship or nothing'. Now get me out of this chair before my gorram arms fall off".

"60/40" Selene countered.

Jayne grinned, a little grimly. "Done".

Selene had kept watching him. All her instincts were screaming at her not to do this, but the thought of losing her bounty entirely and having to answer to the Alliance was putting her in a corner. She hated that feeling. She didn't believe she could trust him, really, but now was a moment of truth and they were going to need each other to pull this off. She moved to the back of the chair and released the restraining metal band, and pushed his shoulders and back forward. "Scoot up a bit", she said. Jayne found he was able to do so, with some effort. Selene reached to the knife holstered on her hip, and used it to cut Jayne's hands free. Jayne's arms were almost completely numb, and he was not surprised to find he couldn't seem to easily get up out of that chair. Selene's left hand was still on his shoulder.

"Sit tight for a minute, until the feeling comes back into your arms and hands. I'll speak to our friends, and we'll prepare to be questioned."

Selene then turned to answer the now very insistent Alliance hail. Jayne watched as she spoke with them, apologized for the delay, and agreed to a search by the federals. Selene turned back to Jayne, who was massaging the feeling back into his arms, and outlined her plan.

When the Federal sergeant boarded Selene's shuttle, he was greeted by the sight of "Fergus Mitchell", who stood blocking his view of Selene in her pilot's chair. Private Johnson approached him first, and briefed him. The woman was carrying a companion ident and the man was identified in the ship's logs as her bodyguard, been with her less than three months. The sergeant took in the sight before him. The big man was shirtless and looked vaguely embarrassed. Selene herself was a bit dishevelled since she had very little time between explaining her plan to Jayne and donning the makeup and clothing of her companion character. The sergeant made the leap which Selene was sure he would, that he had "interrupted" something between the companion and her bodyguard. He snickered. "Companion Selene Nolan, please call off your wei bing gou".

With that, Selene reached up and gently pushed Jayne off to the side, gave him a warning look upon seeing the responsive, instinctive anger in his eyes and nodded at the Sergeant, but made no move to get up from her chair, nor approach him across the ten or so feet separating them. Her posture was straight, and her tone imperious. "Sergeant, is there a reason why I am being treated in such an appalling manner? I have been nothing but cooperative with the Alliance, and yet I am detained, boarded, and your feng kuang di hou zi soldiers have made a mess of my shuttle. I would very much appreciate being told what you are looking for and why I am being held here".

The sergeant raised an eyebrow. Johnson, still at his side, reported in a low tone that there was nothing suspicious on the shuttle, and that they had found the companion and her bodyguard in the condition they now were. Selene continued to regard the sergeant as he spoke in a low tone with the lower-ranking soldier. He then strode up to the detainees.

"What is your purpose in this sector?" He ignored the bodyguard and spoke directly to Selene.

"I have completed some business in Salt Flats Township and am returning to my ship. As you can see, this is only a small shuttle. My ship is on a moon orbiting this planet".

"We found your ship, Ms. Nolan. It was searched for contraband, just as your shuttle was searched. Have you been on or in contact with anyone from Hereafter?"

"No, Sergeant… ?"

"Kennedy."

"Sergeant Kennedy, thank you. No, I wouldn't land on Hereafter, as I'm sure you are aware that it is not suitably civilized for my … services".

Sergeant Kennedy was studying his portable vid-screen; the companion's identification checked out, and the shuttle's logs confirmed her story of where they had been. Selene hoped he continued to ignore Jayne, but luck was not smiling down on her quite yet.

"And your bodyguard, Mr. Mitchell? Has he been on Hereafter?" He asked without looking up.

Jayne opened his mouth as if to speak, forgetting for a moment Selene's most explicit direction to "say nothing unless you are ordered to speak by me", but luckily Selene jumped in very quickly.

"He has been with me at all times, except during my appointments, when he was guarding the shuttle. He cannot pilot the craft and so could have taken it nowhere". Selene's imperious tone reminded Jayne of his "place" and he shut his mouth and looked down at the ground. Keep your head Jayne, he admonished himself, let her do the talkin', she's good at it.

Sergeant Kennedy did not see Jayne's initial reaction, but he looked up at the end of Selene's comments. He stared at her for what seemed an eternity, and did not speak. Selene met his stare with her own direct and, she hoped, honest-appearing expression. She also said nothing further.

Sergeant Kennedy finally broke the silence. "There are reports of illegal and unauthorized slaving activity in this sector, would you know anything about that?"

Selene's mind worked quickly: if the federals had caught the slavers, Clem could have sold her out -— but he didn't know where she was heading exactly. This was likely just a coincidence, and the Sergeant was fishing for information. She betrayed nothing but disdain when she spoke. "Sir, I do not associate with slavers, human le se, I have no need to do so. I hire my employees on the basis of references and recommendations, and pay them a decent living wage. I believe a companion cannot be too careful about such things. Mr. Mitchell here is currently my only employee." She then looked down, as if she were a little flustered, as if that was not all Fergus Mitchell was….

Sergeant Kennedy considered the large, muscular man again; he didn't seem to be a prisoner or there against his will; there were a few bruises on his face though. The Sergeant pointed at Jayne's eye and jaw. "What happened there?"

Selene quickly interjected again, "This is a dangerous part of 'verse, Sergeant, and I'm afraid my presence in Salt Flats caused a little commotion. Mr. Mitchell was protecting me from … some local colour, when he acquired those". Jayne nodded in agreement.

Sergeant Kennedy regarded Selene seriously. "There was also an attempted robbery on Hereafter a couple of days ago; some individuals tried to relieve a local magistrate of his payroll. You wouldn't happen to have heard anything about that in Salt Flats now, would you?"

Selene winced inwardly. She highly suspected Jayne had been involved in that robbery attempt, when she tracked him as far as Hereafter. A look over at his face, which was now deliberately blank instead of embarrassed, confirmed it. She thought fast. "Now that you mention it, Sergeant, I think I may have. The men who attacked my bodyguard spoke of being some sort of big bad thieves, legends in their own minds if you ask me. I must say they did seem terribly coarse, especially in the quaint setting of Salt Flats." Selene hoped this tidbit might send Sergeant Kennedy rushing off to Salt Flats Township to check out her lead.

Sergeant Kennedy whispered something to a soldier next to him, and once again regarded the companion and her bodyguard. He was looking for slavers or thieves, and these two seemed to be neither. As for being a slave, Fergus Mitchell didn't appear to be ill-treated; he seemed protective of the companion, and embarrassed by his current state of undress. By all appearances, he was the companion's lover. This was a false alarm, he thought. No point in pissing off the companion guild any more than he already had.

Selene and Jayne didn't realize they were holding their breath until Sergeant Kennedy finally spoke again. "Alright then. Alpha unit, return to the August." As the troops filed out, he turned back to the companion, eyeing her and her "bodyguard" again. "Thank you for your cooperation, Ms. Nolan, sorry to … disturb you. Would you like an escort to your ship?"

Selene smiled graciously, relieved, and replied "No, thank you Sergeant, I will be … well looked-after." With that, she lowered her gaze, as if she were too embarrassed to meet the Sergeant's eyes.

Sergeant Kennedy turned and strode out, laughing a bit to himself as he left. Guess she had something other than ice running through her veins, he thought.

With her heart still thumping in her chest, Selene piloted the shuttle to the small moon, and docked her shuttle on the back of her Mermaid class ship, The Circe. Mermaids were usually used as small supply ships, sometimes bought as private "yachts" for rich travellers not wanting to depend on Alliance schedules. They could be easily run by one or two persons, and after docking, Selene showed Jayne the rest of the ship.

"Shuttle is my quarters, ship's helm is at the other end. In between is a galley and lounge, down below is the engine room, a small infirmary, and two additional guest quarters. You can have your choice, though the port side might be a little noisier than starboard, as the engine sometimes reverbs on the port. My quarters are off limits, as is the helm. I have force-field locks on all doors on board, and I will not hesitate to lock you out of any area, or lock you in your room at night if I suspect you of planning any mischief."

Jayne took in the elegantly decorated, small ship, and looked again at Selene. "Looks just like a companion lives here".

"That's rather the point, Mr. Cobb. I rely on that cover quite frequently, and I can't have the Alliance becoming suspicious when my transportation fails to match my ident."

Jayne continued to look at Selene. "Just fancy is all. Shiny." He leaned back against the bulkhead and crossed his arms. "Won't be any need to lock up nothin'. We got a deal and I like the idea of getting' paid. Not gonna risk that".

Selene considered the big merc, and then nodded. "Then let's get underway, shall we?"


	3. Attraction

Disclaimer: Firefly and her crew are not mine, all hail Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy etc.  
Feedback is welcome. 

This is Chapter 3 - sorry it's been a while coming, I have let life interfere with my Jayne ponderings …

Chinese translations:  
lan diao la ji: rotting trash  
Ren ci de Fo zu: merciful Buddha  
Ai ya: damn, oh my 

**Attraction**

Bethany, on Aurora 7. A little town, made up like a Tuscan village, or, she corrected herself, what she imagined a Tuscan village on Earth That Was would look like.

There were narrow cobblestone lanes, wide stone-paved boulevards lined with leafy green trees, quaint little stone houses with tile and terracotta roofs, green parks filled with flowers and fountains. The terraformed moon was quite small, and the biggest industry was mining and stone quarrying (hence the lovely stone paths and homes). There were also fruit orchards and vineyards, fields of corn, barley, rice, and wheat. They did quite well here, Selene thought. Didn't need to rely on the Alliance for food rations, everything they needed was right here.

She decided they should bed down in a villa on the edge of town, near the farmers' fields and with a view of rolling hills and orchards. It was mid-morning, and she was out to check out open-air market at the town's centre, which beckoned her. As she wandered through the stalls piled high with sun-ripened fresh fruits, carved stone figurines, barrels of spices, and bolts of rich fabric, she considered her predicament. This was the fourth world they had been to in just under three weeks, and no sign yet of the Tams. She knew from his profile that Jayne was considered an expert tracker, but it seemed that they missed catching up to the Tams by mere days at each opportunity. She was no fool; Selene sensed he was stalling or leading her in circles, but she couldn't put her finger on the reasons why. She hoped that the small, thin, slightly dirty child she had given a few coins to earlier that morning to follow her travelling companion would report back something useful to her when she returned to the villa.

Selene wasn't sure what would calm her sense of unease. She had spent the last few weeks getting to know Jayne Cobb, and finding that his profile and criminal record only described a part of the man. He seemed quiet, almost a little shy around her, yet sometimes the most inappropriate, rude, and distinctly uncultured things came out of his mouth, with no apology or explanation. He was obviously lacking formal education, but he wasn't stupid. He was indeed an excellent tracker, he could read people's responses pretty well—he would be good to have on side in a fight (as long as he didn't pull a weapon prematurely!); he had a wry sense of humour and, she was beginning to suspect, he had fierce loyalties which he was not going to sell out. She just needed to find out to whom Jayne Cobb was loyal.

She had some other business in town: checking her accounts; getting a new compression coil for her shuttle; sending a quick note to her friend, Ban-Wei. She found herself just wandering, taking in the warm ambience of the town, for hours.

Selene returned to the villa in the early afternoon with a basket of fresh fruit: cherries, apricots, peaches, apples, and some assorted berries. The child was sitting on a bench outside the villa, swinging his feet (which didn't reach the ground). As he saw her approach, he jumped down, and eyed the basked hungrily. After he told her what she needed to know, Selene sent him on his way with some coin, two apples, a peach, and a handful of strawberries.

She went upstairs, put the rest of the basket and its contents in her room. She drew a cool bath, as the day was rather hot for her, and sighed as she lowered herself into the lukewarm water. She knew she would have to head out again soon, but she was chewing over the information she had just received from the child. She found herself hoping she wouldn't have to kill Jayne Cobb….

It was mid-afternoon as Jayne stood outside the villa on the edge of town, looking out over wide fields and orchards, smelling the clean, loamy air. It was a sunny and warm day, blue sky, puffy white clouds. This world was a far sight prettier than most places he got to see. Better than the place he came from, anyways. He hoped Kaylee had been able to pick up some strawberries at that market he passed in town centre.

He missed Kaylee most of all these past couple weeks. She was always smiling and cheerful (although that wore on a fella's nerves from time to time!) and she never thought he was a bad man. He smiled a little, thinking that he had never had a little sister, and didn't even realize that's what she was until he didn't have her around no more. He found himself missing the others as well, he had never been part of a crew like that, where they actually seemed to care about one another. They even seemed to care about him a little. Well, he didn't know when he might be seeing them again, given his current situation.

Since his capture by the slavers, he had communicated with Mal only twice, the first time only days after the incident with the feds on Selene's shuttle. He managed to give her the slip for a coupla minutes on Priam, while she was asking some questions in a bar, by tellin' her about a nasty gastro-intestinal problem he felt he was about to have. That gave him about five minutes to run out the back, across the street, and into a cortex unit with a vid-link, and contact Serenity. Cap'n even looked happy to see him on the grainy vid screen. He told them his situation: that he was alive but in the custody of a bounty hunter tracking the Tams. He told them he would next be on Periphas, Wyvern, and then Bethany. Serenity had obliged by getting to each of these worlds first, then leaving a few days before he and Selene were to get there.

It had been around noon today when he felt the coast was clear for him to risk contacting his shipmates. He had checked in with Mal to learn the ship was returning to Persephone for a few days for some maintenance, and to sell some of the fresh produce they had picked up on Bethany. He would have to steer Selene clear of there for at least a week, and Mal had let it be known in one of Bethany's best waterin' holes that he was taking a shipment of fruit to Celadon. That was where he should be takin' her, but he wanted to stay in this place for a least another couple days, not just to be sure that Mal'd have time to finish the business and repairs on Persephone, but also because this place was so very fine. Besides, this running around in circles would only distract the bounty hunter for so long. It was not a permanent solution, but he was depending on Mal for that. So far, they didn't seem to have any ideas on how to handle it.

Thinkin' on Selene, he had to admit that he didn't know what to make of her, really. She was smart, good in a fight (that idiot in the bar on Wyvern sure was sorry to have grabbed her ass!), kept him on a short leash, but seemed to trust him enough to let him carry a weapon, and to let him out of her sight for a spell. He was a little surprised that he felt a twinge of guilt, lyin' to her, leading her in circles. But he didn't owe her, really, why should he feel bad about lyin' to a killer?

Jayne wasn't used to thinking things through so thoroughly. His brain seemed to go in circles, trying to figure out this woman. He had known dozens of men sooner kill ya than look at ya, and she wasn't like them. She seemed remote, a little sad even, but she could be real scary sometimes because she seemed so cold, like when she threatened him back in the shuttle. He didn't know why, but he had no doubt at all that she was capable of hurting anyone who got between her and her reward. That shoulda made her like him, but that wasn't it neither.

Then it just dawned on him; the preacher woulda called it something like an epiphany: Selene didn't, and wouldn't, hurt anyone she didn't have to. She didn't enjoy hurting and killing, and the only ones to feel her dark side were scum-sucking, baby-eating, cat-raping sons of bitches. She had no taste for wanton violence.

But her determination in hunting down River and Simon Tam, that would mean she believed they were the worst kinds of scum. It also meant that she thought he, Jayne Cobb, was too. Jayne was used to being the big bad scary man, but something about this woman made him go all quiet and thoughtful, and he didn't want her to be scared of him, or think he was the worst kind of lan diao la ji. Why was that? She was very pretty, but it was something else. He wanted her to trust him. And not just for the mission, not just to keep her away from the crew of Serenity. It was like, even when she was trying to scare him (and she was right capable of that when she felt the inclination), he saw something inside, something a little fragile, that he wanted to protect.

She looked at him kind of funny too, like she was looking for something there. He noticed it especially when she thought he wasn't paying any attention to her. Her eyes were always on him. He kinda wanted her to see the best parts of him, which is why he went quiet; saying something stupid was Jayne's special gift to the universe, after all. But it unnerved him sometimes; no woman ever really looked at him like she did. Made him self-conscious.

It confused him, she confused him. Jayne thought maybe he should just stop thinking about it altogether, and enjoy the view.

After her bath, Selene went looking for Jayne. She found him still standing, appreciating the view, about 100 feet from the villa walkway. She watched him from the walkway for a bit, as his back was to her, and allowed herself to appreciate the moment — the sun, the slight breeze, the smell of the rich earth. She closed her eyes and stretched out her arms, and stepped onto the green grass, eyes still closed. She felt the longish grass tickle between her toes (she had found a pair of sandals in the market and bought them on impulse — along with some rather feminine garments that she could use when she had to employ her "companion" disguise) and took a couple of steps that way. Living on a ship in space could be an adventure, but a place like this, this was heaven.

Jayne had felt someone watching him, and turned to see her there, eyes closed and walking with her arms out like she was floatin' or something. She looked so beautiful right then, so much a part of this world, the joy on her face made him ache. He turned away quickly, before she could open her eyes and catch him staring.

Selene opened her eyes, and saw Jayne still turned towards the distant fruit orchards. She walked down towards him, and came to stand at his right. He glanced over only briefly to acknowledge her presence, then went right back to staring into the distance. Selene believed she understood his silence, as she too felt overwhelmed by the natural beauty surrounding them. So different from the ship…. She seemed to be in a dream. "It's so beautiful here", she said. Jayne didn't argue with her; in fact, he didn't say anything else at all. He looked over at her, and watched her. She closed her eyes and lifted her face to the sky, feeling the warmth of the sun, and breathed in deeply. "Do you ever just stop to appreciate how real air feels, like on a planet and not on a ship? It is full of scent and life, like a living thing". Her thoughts were drifting, and she lost track of where she was, and who she was with. "The sun blazes with a tingling warmth, a kiss of fire; the wind dances across your skin, through your hair, a lover's caress…".

Now Jayne thought he was really in trouble. Her voice, soft and low, wistful, and the things she was sayin', and her smelling of apples, these things were conspirin' to make him feel all woozy next to her. The way she closed her eyes and held out her hands out just a little, like the sun and the wind were really touchin' her like she said, it reminded him a little bit of River, just not so crazy. But a little crazy. It was strange, he was both excited and scared at the same time. He swallowed, and continued to say nothing, just watching her. He knew well enough that anything he said would shatter this moment, and for some reason he didn't quite understand, that was the last thing he wanted to do.

Selene's eyes fluttered open, and she saw Jayne was staring at her, but not like he thought she was a raving lunatic. Something else in his eyes. Their gazes were locked, and she sensed a wave of confusion, lust and desire, emanating from him. She blinked, breaking the connection. That was unexpected. She frowned a little, as it occurred to her that she truly must be losing her mind. What the hell was that? Not only did I just let down my guard right next to a very dangerous man, I just babbled about sun and wind, and caressing. Ren ci de Fo zu, did I just say those things out loud? Then she stammered, "Oh gosh, you must think I'm quite mad" in that carefully cultured voice she used when she needed to be in control.

Jayne blinked. He managed to say, "Yep", and he grinned a little lopsidedly. Selene laughed, a nervous giggle really, as she was still a bit spooked by what she had felt from him. Weird. This merc was surprising her and that was dangerous in her line of work. She had to keep it together, regain control, and focus on her next steps.

"I was just going up to rest before dinner. Have you found anything on the Tams?" All business again. Good, she thought to herself.

Jayne was a little relieved that the professional bounty hunter Selene was back. He knew how to act around her. "Nope, not yet, but there's a tavern or bar just down from here, called something like "Turtle di Strato", might be a good source of information. It's fancier than some of the others in town, but".

"Then I suggest we prepare ourselves for a good dinner this evening. Why don't you get cleaned up and we'll head over there at sundown? I believe that's about 7, standard time."

Jayne nodded, and together they turned back towards the villa. They walked in silence. As they entered the small entryway and approached the staircase leading to the second floor bed chambers, Jayne motioned for Selene to go before him (since when was he all gentlemanly anyhow?). Their rooms were across the hall from one another. Selene unlocked her door, then turned, saying "I'll knock on your door just before 7. That's a couple of hours".

"Right", said Jayne, not looking at her. He went into his room and closed his door, and heard her door closing as well. Time for a bath, he thought. And some clean clothes. "Fergus Mitchell" still had some credits in his account, and he had used that at a tailor's shop in the Bethany market, where a wizened old man measured him and sewed him up some new, fine clothes. Finer than anything he'd ever had before, Jayne figured, and he really didn't know why exactly, but he wanted to look nice for Selene. He opened the package, and saw the old man had sent him a small bottle of some sorta scent along with the clothes, something Jayne did not usually indulge in himself, but he guessed it wouldn't hurt none to try a little…

Selene waited until she heard the water running, then slipped out of her room, down the stairs, and out of the villa.

Selene found the postal centre easily, and once she flashed the attendant her (very forged) Taxation Evasion Officer badge, he was very helpful. He told her that the man matching Mr. Cobb's description had been in that morning, and used the cortex vid-phone for 2 1/2 minutes. Selene was pleased that the attendant kept records, and recordings (although technically that was a breach of Alliance regulations, as she reminded him when he looked like he wasn't going to let her view it). Using her very well honed powers of persuasion, she was able to get the attendant to allow her to watch and listen to Jayne's call to the captain of Serenity. What she saw disturbed her even more than before she had Jayne followed. This captain, Malcolm Reynolds, he didn't strike her as a cutthroat. He actually seemed a good sort, not unreasonable, what was he doing, protecting two very dangerous and murderous fugitives? There had to be a story here that she was missing, Selene knew, but she was feeling very tired and her head was starting to hurt. Time to get back, and think about how she was going to deal with Jayne Cobb. Not killing him. At least, not yet.

At a few minutes before 7:00, she knocked on Jayne's door.

She had snuck back into the villa, tip-toeing up the stairs, and heard him cursing at something as she slipped into her room. She had cleaned up again, put on some make-up and her pretty new sandals, and one of the feminine dresses she had found in the market. It was a silky, sheer, sleeveless red dress, the bodice snug at her chest, leaving her arms bare, keeping close to her body to her hips, then flaring out in handkerchiefs of sheer silk down to her ankles, layered to allow them to float when she moved, giving tantalizing glimpses of her long legs up to her upper thigh, before they settled down around her again. The dress would be pleasing to him; she knew she looked good in it. Her aim was to confront him tonight, and what better way than if he was off his guard?

She fought an internal battle, however, as she tried to ignore her other reason for choosing the red dress. The image of Jayne's eyes, the way he was looking at her that afternoon, and the desire that emanated him kept intruding on her thoughts. Much to her dismay, she found herself wanting him to desire her. Dammit Selene, she admonished herself as she applied her makeup, you can't afford emotional entanglements. Especially with a man like this one.

She had taken lovers from time to time. None lasted very long. And never a bounty. Never a business partner either - well, this was the first time she'd had a business partner, and since she knew he was not being straight with her…. She knew herself well enough to admit to having a soft spot for bad boys, but in this particular situation, this little character flaw could be very dangerous indeed. Jayne Cobb was in a position to betray her, he was not who he claimed to be, and… well, that was kind of the point: she felt like there was more to him, and that she had to know what that was. She reminded herself to keep it together, and to remember what she came for, as she knocked on the door a second time.

Jayne answered the door in a grey, mandarin-collared shirt, which appeared to have been tailored to fit across his broad chest and shoulders, and narrowed to his waist. It was linen, Selene thought, probably one of the best fabrics she had seen in recent memory, it looked soft yet resilient, and she actually had to stifle the urge to touch Jayne's arm to feel the fabric. The shirt was perfect on him, he was clean, he smelled like warm spices, maybe cloves and cinnamon, and he wore clean grey pants that hugged his thighs in a way that, if Selene hadn't already been a little flushed at her reaction to him, she certainly would be now. Jayne was staring at her just like she had planned, all right, but she was staring at him just the same.

"Well, you look … shiny. The two of us seem to clean up just fine", Selene managed to say. His eyes were so blue. He smelled yummy. "We should, um, go". She said.

She stepped back and turned away from him, started to go down the stairs, and heard Jayne close the door and follow her. Get a grip, Selene, think about how this guy could murder you in your sleep and focus!

Jayne, for his part, couldn't speak. He was afraid that he didn't have the right words anyway. She called him shiny. But she looked exquisite. Not like when she was pretending to be a companion, better. Softer. More real. Her hair, which over the past couple weeks she wore in a ponytail or a braid, was loose, curling in soft auburn waves down her back. The scent of apples had hit him like a brick, damn that was a fine smell for a woman to have, he thought.

They walked side by side down the stone path to the taverna, without talking, each deep in his or her own thoughts. They reached what appeared to be an old barn, with a heavy wooden sign bearing the name "Locanda Della Torta di Strato". Selene looked over at Jayne, smiling. "Turtle di Strato?".

Jayne shrugged. "Never learned to read fancy; the name made no sense to me".

"It means cake, a layered cake, I think. Strange name for a tavern, either way". Selene pulled open the over-sized, heavy wooden door. Jayne was right behind her, and they squinted into the darkness.

The tavern was really more like a fancy restaurant, not overly crowded, but there were enough people there to make it feel busy. The guests appeared wealthy, and were very well dressed. Selene and Jayne were appropriately attired for the company. The meaning of the tavern's name was explained in the décor. The centre of the room was a tiled dance floor, surrounded on three sides by a row of tables, and then three tiered levels of more tables. A stage housing a small group of musicians anchored the fourth side of the room. They were playing what sounded like a soulful cross of Spanish flamenco, French village, and Chinese classical music.

Selene and Jayne were seated at a lovely small table on the top tier, very intimate. Selene sighed as she saw the menu; the prices matched the ambience. They were served quickly, and she had to admit that the food and wine were excellent, perhaps even worth what she was paying for them. She was also a little puzzled by her dinner companion's talkativeness. She had never heard him say so much in one sitting before. For his part, Jayne found himself telling Selene stories about his childhood, and his mother, and brother Matty. She seemed to be interested in those stories, but she said nothing of her own upbringing. In fact, Jayne was left thinking, he knew next to nothing about where she had come from, or who she was close to.

Selene at one point excused herself to speak to a barmaid who seemed to remember a girl who looked like River with a group saying they were headed to Celadon to broker some fruit for a local co-op of farmers. Jayne similarly spoke to a cook who said much the same. Of course, Jayne knew he would. Mal had made sure to tell anyone in earshot when he had been there.

Sipping on a glass of locally made dessert wine after dinner, Selene watched the couples on the dance floor, swaying in time to the music, and tried to school her thoughts. She knew she had to confront Jayne about lying to her, warning his shipmates about her, and keeping her from her bounty, but she wasn't quite sure how to go about it. She had never been this mad and upset at someone she didn't want to go off on before. The way he talked about his family, there was something she wasn't getting here, and that wasn't like her. She tried to see every angle but when it came to this merc, she couldn't figure him out. Damn it, the whole situation, she couldn't figure anything out.

Jayne saw that his dinner companion was pre-occupied, more so than he had ever seen her. He watched her closely throughout the dinner, but she didn't seem to notice. He had drunk about five glasses of very fine wine, and was feeling a bit blurry around the edges. That would be what he would blame if this went wrong, he said to himself. He leaned across the table to say what he had been aching to say for at least ten minutes. Unfortunately it didn't come out of his mouth the way it sounded in his head. "Would you, uh, I mean, you look like you'd like to, um… , there's dancin' and I ain't got much practice but if you would do me the honour, uh, do ya wanna dance or what?", he finally sputtered. Selene, broken out of her reverie by Jayne's clumsy proposal, smiled, and did not tease him at all, just said, "That would be lovely, Mr. Cobb" and pushed her chair out from the table, and stood. Jayne could not believe his luck, or maybe it was her graciousness, even when the words came out all wrong, she had still accepted him. He stood up quickly, and offered his arm, as he had seen Mal do with Inara, and Kaylee showed him how to do when she made him learn how to dance, a few months back. He hoped he could remember what she had taught him — he had been just hopeless until Kaylee got him to relax and "feel the music". He had never had much use for music before, but when Kaylee explained it, it was like listening to his heart beat, and the dancing became not about where his feet was, but feeling where he wanted his body to go.

Selene accepted his arm and together they stepped down from the tiers and onto the dance floor. It was an old-fashioned waltz; other couples of various levels of skill and experience whirled around them. Selene was a bigger girl than Kaylee, taller anyway, built more like Zoe. Jayne put his arm around her waist, resting one hand at the small of her back, and clasped her left hand in his right. Her right hand rested on his chest. He had never been this close to her, felt her body underneath his hands, like this. He was unsure which was making him more dizzy: the wine, or her nearness. He was completed intoxicated.

Selene, having seen Jayne's discomfort at asking her to dance, realized her opportunity to ask her questions, as he was obviously off his guard. But as Jayne put his hands on her, Selene found herself struggling again with her dual desires, of being very attracted to a good-looking, good-smelling man, and wanting to rip his head off for lying to her. At the moment, her attraction, aided by some very fine wine, was winning. But her suspicions, his secrets, they nibbled at her mind and would not let her completely relax.

He guided them around the floor rather well, she thought to herself. Again, unexpected. This man is just full of surprises. And that made Selene even more uncomfortable. Her experience with surprises was that there were many more unpleasant ones than there were good ones. This man appeared to deliver both. As she struggled with herself, Selene kept her eyes downcast, avoiding Jayne's gaze, although she could feel the heat of his eyes on her. She breathed deeply as she finally looked up, expecting to see lust there, but instead saw and sensed something else - admiration, respect, and tenderness. She found herself wanting to believe what she saw there in Jayne's eyes. She tried to steel herself, let her eyes say nothing, she needed to find out what the hell he was playing at right now, before things went too far.

Jayne saw something flicker in her eyes, when they finally met his, like pain or suspicion, but then a door seemed to close and her eyes, blue as the sky outside that afternoon, became unreadable once again. He was astute enough to realize that something was not altogether right with Selene, but he didn't have too much time to think on it.

Selene's right hand, resting on Jayne's chest, began to move up to his shoulder, down his arm, as she leaned in close to his ear. Her touch was electricity coursing through his body. All thoughts about what might be bothering her were zapped out of his thoughts. Selene's hand trembled slightly, and she tried to keep herself steady. She had pulled this manoeuvre a hundred times before, she thought, what the hell was wrong with her? Jayne's shirt was very soft, a part of her brain appreciated the fine cloth, while another part was achingly aware of the tight corded muscles underneath her fingers. Jayne's hand which held hers gripped hers a little tighter, and he pulled her closer to him. Their hips were touching now, no space between them, and there was no mistaking the desire that was radiating from each of them. Selene closed her eyes and breathed in his scent, a part of her realizing that she had to take control now, or risk losing it forever. She spoke, huskily, into his ear.

"Jayne"

"Mmm?"

"Tell me about the call you made today".

Jayne was jolted out of his reverie, and she felt his body tense up in response. He attempted to hide it. "Whadya mean, darlin'?" he said softly, into her ear, keeping his grip on her tight. She winced a little because his grip on her hand had become vice-like.

Selene's voice went from a soft tickle to a sharp stab in Jayne's ear. "You know what I mean, Mr. Cobb. Don't try to play me". She didn't have to act imperious, she was mad, really mad, her desire evaporating in the heat of her anger.

Jayne pulled away from her and held her a little away from him, so he could see into her eyes, and register the seething anger there. His expression reflected his disappointment, perhaps guilt, Selene didn't know what else. She was getting too mad to think straight, if he didn't say something soon, she was going to pull her knife on him. Only she'd left it in her room. Damn! This was going all pear-shaped because she couldn't get a grip on her hormones. That's it, she thought, the madness ends here. Why am I acting like a love-sick schoolgirl when this man is standing between me and my bounty? Why is he protecting the Tams, why is the crew of his ship, Serenity, protecting them? What in the name of all that is holy is going on?

Jayne, his hands still holding her, seemed to read her silent questions, when he finally spoke, "Let's go out back, I'll tell you everything". Those words hit Selene's anger like cold water. She expected him to be cagey with her, and now it was her turn to stutter, "alright then" as he turned towards the back of the bar, her hand still in his, and led her outside. Bethany orbited a gas giant, ringed, and now that planet loomed in the eastern sky. The reflected light made the earth around them glow. Jayne let go of her hand, and turned to face her. Selene stood, arms folded on her chest, cold, remote, and in control. Nothing in her demeanour betrayed the part of her that had trembled in his arms while they danced. The part of her that wanted him still.

Jayne took a deep breath, kept his eyes on hers, and told her everything. Everything. From the Tams arrival on board Serenity; the stories they had about the Academy; what they had done to River's brain; her fear of the men with blue hands; his betrayal of the Tams on Ariel; the screams of the federals on Ariel, as whatever came for River dispensed of them; their escape; his punishment; his attempts at redemption. Then, his communications with Mal, keeping her from Serenity and the Tams, lying to her. All of it. Throughout, he kept looking into her eyes, willing her to understand, to see that he was telling her the truth now, even the stuff that showed him off in none too good a light. Her eyes betrayed nothing. But she seemed to grow very pale.

Selene was stunned. The Academy. She had not expected to hear those words. Her skin was cold, though the night still held some of the warmth of the day, it was as if the blood in her veins had frozen solid. Jayne was still talking, but she ceased to comprehend. She held up her hand, and simply said "Stop". Her eyes were focussed off into the distance behind Jayne's shoulder. He could've sworn she looked like she might cry. But she seemed to win some internal battle for emotional control, and when she finally spoke again, her tone told him she would brook no argument from him over their next steps.

"I want you to arrange a meeting between me and your captain. Whatever terms he needs in order to feel comfortable. As soon as possible." She said nothing further, turned from Jayne, and began walking back towards the villa. Jayne was all sorts of confused, by her reaction and by his as well. She just walked off. Didn't pull a weapon on him or anything. Just expected him to do what she asked and walked away. The thought occurred to him that he could just leave, be offworld before morning, before she realized…. He wasn't used to having people trust him. She had trusted him, and he had let her down. He got it. His heart was heavy in his chest as he realized he had probably screwed up everything with this woman. Damn, why the hell did he care about her feelings anyways?

Okay, he thought, this could be a new opportunity, to earn her trust again. But he didn't think Mal was gonna be too understanding of him bringing around a bounty hunter and killer for some tea and cookies. He didn't know what to do. He couldn't leave her, not like this, not after what he felt in there. Besides which, he had no doubt that she could hunt him down again if she wanted. That wouldn't help the Tams or the rest of Serenity's crew. Jayne sighed, and followed Selene back to the villa, keeping her in sight. She was about 50 metres in front of him, but he didn't try to catch up. He knew enough to know that she didn't want him around right now.

When Selene got back to the villa, she was vaguely aware that Jayne was behind her a ways. She went straight up to her room, washed her face, and changed out of the fancy dress. She heard Jayne's footsteps on the stairs, and went completely still. She heard him pause outside her door, but he didn't knock. She held her breath, in her head willing him to leave her be. She allowed her self some bitter satisfaction with herself when she heard him doing just that, turning to his own room, entering it, and closing the door behind him.

Only then did the tears come, she hadn't cried in so long, she had forgotten how far down she had buried the sorrow, grief, and fury of the past years. She sobbed loudly into her pillow, hoping that no one else could hear her.

But Jayne did hear. After cursing his cowardice for a few minutes, he had opened his door, determined to talk to her again, to explain himself more if he had to, but mostly to try to get to the bottom of what he was sure both of them had been feeling back at the bar, while they danced. He heard, and was paralyzed by the intensity of her grief. He stood outside her door for a long time, until he finally heard her calm down, her sobs quieted, and he thought she had fallen asleep. He went back to his room soberly, knowing that it wasn't just him that caused that outpouring. Something else, something in what he said must've triggered it.

Jayne knew about being emotionally vulnerable and being hurt, he had spent most of his life avoiding situations which could lead to those sorts of things happening. No friends, no confidants, no sweetheart. A lonely life. He thought about all that when he went back into his room. Since being on Serenity, he had been starting to open up. He felt pretty close to Kaylee, like a sister she was, he wanted to protect her; he felt a kind of fierce loyalty to the Captain and Zoe, since they had been in a few battles together and one or both of them had kept his back every time (even after he screwed up, betrayed the Tams, and Mal almost keelhauled him for it); his workout buddy, Book, the preacher, he was a stand-up guy; Inara, well she didn't pay him much attention, but she wasn't mean to him unless he was being a pig (which was not infrequently — he liked to try to get a rise out of her); Wash annoyed him, but they had some laughs together from time to time; the prissy doctor Simon had patched him up more than once, and seeing how much he cared for that loony sister of his, River…. Together, they kinda felt like a family. They were cobbled together from so many different places and experiences, and yet, they trusted each other and relied on each other more than any crew he had flown with. Being away from them for this long, the truth of it finally hit home for Jayne: they were as much his family now as his ma or Matty, more so perhaps, since they knew who he was, the things he had done, and they still accepted him. Welcomed him, even. Mal had been glad to see him when he called up, relieved that he was okay. He knew Kaylee would give him a big hug when he next saw her (much to Simon's chagrin) and that made him smile.

He got it, then. Somehow, Selene had no-one like that. She didn't speak of family, nor friends, not even in the long hours they had been stuck together over the past few weeks.

When she did talk, she told him about books she had read, stories and legends of the old countries and nations of Earth That Was. Sometimes she would tell a funny story about some moron who had insulted her in a bar, or a fight she had been in, but no further back than a couple years. At one point, she told him about how she had found him: that she had broke into a police storage facility on Ariel where she found Jayne's wanted information a couple of months back. He had not been listed as a high priority, but the reward was large, which peaked her interest, so she dug a little further and found the info on the Tams. That's when she hatched her plan to bypass the middleman (the Alliance) and get him to lead her directly to the Tams for the bigger payday. He found her clever, and engaging when she spoke.

But she never told him anything about people close to her, or home, or family, nothing that was near and dear to her heart. Something had happened, he thought, turned her into who she is now, and he had no clue what that was. Except that it caused her all that pain when she was confronted with it.

The thoughts continued to spin in his brain for hours, so that sleep, when it came, was fitful and short.

He woke at sunrise, dressed quickly, and went down to the villa kitchen for some coffee and a basket of buttery biscuits with homemade preserves. He brought the basket up the stairs, and knocked on her door.

Selene answered, already dressed in her usual clothes, but looking exhausted, drained, like the light had left her. Jayne could feel his heart ache at the sight of her hurting so much. He wished that he wasn't so useless with talking, that he might get her to tell him what was going on with her. He had never seen anyone look so… defeated. Beaten. Tired, right to the soul.

Selene was all those things and more. She was preoccupied with her pain, but she registered Jayne's concern for her, saw the food and smelled the coffee, and appreciated his kindness. She invited him in, smiled slightly, thanked him robotically, and heard herself offer him some of the fruit from the basket she had purchased the day before. Ai ya, was that really only yesterday, she thought, it felt so many miles away from now. She ate, silently, and Jayne respected her silence. He topped up her coffee from the refill pot when it got low, and stirred in some fresh milk every time. She didn't seem to notice that her cup never got empty, but he still did it, watching her.

When she had done eating a few bites of biscuit, some preserves, and some apple he had cut up for her, Jayne asked her if she wanted to come with him to call Serenity, but she declined. She became ever more remote, saying "Make whatever arrangements you see fit, Mr. Cobb. I will adhere to whatever deal you have to make to your captain to secure his trust." And with that she excused herself, and lay down on her bed with her back to him. Jayne knew he had been dismissed and left, heavy-hearted and wondering how this would ever be fixed.


	4. Truth

Disclaimer: Firefly and her crew are not mine, all hail Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy etc.  
Feedback is welcome, and thank you so much for the kind remarks thus far!

This is Chapter 4 - quick on the heels of Chapter 3, I have been feeling inspired.

Chinese translations:  
Mei miao: wonderful  
Sha zi: idiot, fool  
Zui: evil  
Lao tian, bu: oh god no  
Tian sa de e mo: goddamn monsters, wicked demons  
Lan Shai Ri Yun: Blue Sun Halo

**Truth **

Jayne made a short trip into town to make the necessary arrangements, and they left Bethany a few hours later. Selene said next to nothing as they readied her ship, broke orbit, and set in their course. She then relinquished the helm to Jayne and locked herself in her shuttle for the duration of the 22 hour trip to the rendezvous point on Persephone. Jayne didn't dare bother her, although worried thoughts swam through his mind.

Cap'n had been very suspicious of meeting with the bounty hunter, and as Jayne suspected, he was a mite cheesed with Jayne for having a sudden case of honesty with her on Bethany. Mal always expected trouble, and this time, Jayne really didn't know what to expect. The Captain, Zoë, Kaylee, all of them were his crew, like his family, and he didn't want to put them into harm's way, but his instincts told him that Selene wasn't out to try to hurt them. He realized he was really starting to care about Selene too, and even though she wasn't speaking to him, it was like he still felt her presence in his head. He somehow understood she had been shattered by something, and he wanted to help her to glue herself back together, but he didn't know how. Although it was as much a mystery to him as it was to Mal why she wanted to meet the Captain, he believed that whatever she had planned, she wouldn't do harm to anyone on board Serenity. He just hoped Mal would keep his cool and not do something rash.

Selene emerged from her shuttle-cocoon as Jayne brought the shuttle around a shallow orbit around Persephone. They were to land at the edge of the main town, as the rendezvous point, as Jayne had advised, was in the marketplace in the centre of the town. Selene was dimly aware of the sound of Jayne's voice, reminding her that the captain, Mal Reynolds, specified she was to be unarmed for their meeting. She listened through a fog, numb and tired. Jayne's confession on Bethany had brought too many memories to the surface, too quickly. She needed to know that what Jayne had told her was correct. This might be the only way to find out for sure, she thought. She looked down at her civilian clothes, and realized she had strapped on her knife automatically when she had dressed. She undid the leather holster, and handed it, knife and all, to Jayne. "Hold onto this for me, will you? I don't want to leave it here, and I need to know it's safe".

Jayne looked at the leather straps and fine steel knife in his hands, and then back up to her. Her eyes betrayed her fatigue, and even resignation, but she held her head high. He locked his eyes with hers. "I'll be returnin' it to you soon", he promised. He tucked it all very carefully into the shoulder bag he had packed with some of his necessities for taking along. Selene smiled wanly. He would have given anything to see the brilliant flash in her eyes that used to accompany her smile, or her temper, anything but the expression that made him ache to look upon her.

"What's the drill?" she asked him, as her slight smile faded.

…

Jayne and Selene wandered the lanes of the open market side by side, without speaking, for over an hour, without any sign of Mal, or anyone else from Serenity for that matter. It was nearing the middle of the day on Persephone; the sun beat down mercilessly on the dusty earth. Jayne felt a rivulet of sweat resolutely trickle down the middle of his back. He had just suggested some refreshments as they passed a stand selling fresh fruit juice, when he spotted Zoë about 30 feet from him. She had obviously been watching them for a time, he thought. Mei miao, Mal didn't even trust him enough to meet with him square, like they had planned. Zoë nodded to him before turning away, and walking towards the edge of the market, where the town's main docks were located. Jayne grabbed Selene's hand, pulling her along to follow Zoë. As Jayne threaded his way through the crowds, Selene's hand still clasped in his, she allowed him to lead her without resistance as she watched the people and stalls of goods like they were images on a vid-screen. Not real, not to be believed. She felt a slight noise in her head, familiar, like that thought belonged to someone other than herself. She frowned slightly. Jayne looked back at her, noticing her far-off, unfocussed eyes. She seems to be on auto pilot, he thought.

When he spotted Serenity, Mal standing on her ramp, waiting for them, Jayne slowed a little. He realized he couldn't see Zoë anymore, and concluded only seconds later that was because she was right behind them, instructing Selene to drop the merc's hand and put up hers. Jayne realized then that Selene had been gripping his hand, harder than he had noticed. So, at least she wasn't completely checked out, he thought. Selene raised her arms, put her hands on top of her head, everything that Zoë ordered her to do. Zoë led her like that onto Serenity, into the cargo bay, and away from the curious eyes of market shoppers and the traffic at the docks.

Mal looked furious, Jayne could see his mouth set in a hard line and his eyes were cold. As Zoë secured Selene's hands behind her back, Mal finally moved, storming over to Jayne. "Care to explain why you're getting' cozy with the hired killer, Jayne?"

Jayne took a deep breath before he responded. Keep calm, he told himself. "It's not like that, Mal. She caught me callin' you, like I said, and then I told her why I was tryin' to protect Serenity and Simon and his moon-brained sister, and she got all quiet, and asked to meet ya. You can see she doesn't have any weapons on her; she gave me her knife. I… I think you can trust her, Mal, that's all."

Mal did not look convinced. "Jayne, what I can see is this: it is plainer than day to me that you have spent the last few weeks being in close proximity with a pretty lady, who has turned your sha zi empty head inside out one way or another. She is an assassin, Jayne, it's her job to get close to her target, by any means necessary. And you cracked open like an overripe melon and told her just how to find us. If that weren't enough, you arranged a meeting with me to make it even easier for her to get close to the Tams. Do you ever get any use out of your brain, because any stray thoughts trapped in there must be getting awful lonely by now."

Jayne could feel his anger rising, and he getting ready to yell back at Mal, or hit something, but instead he looked over at Selene. She was far enough away not to hear what Mal had said, but she was watching them closely. He kept his eyes on her as he breathed deeply to steady his voice, which still came out low, a bit strangled. "Look at her Mal. She's trussed up and unarmed. She told me she would agree to any condition you set to meet with her". He looked back at the captain. "She ain't a bad person, Mal. I know enough from bein' around 'em and maybe even bein' one myself, that she isn't zui. She didn't get me to bring her here by trying to seduce me or nothing. Wouldn't have been difficult if she wanted to; she's a fine lookin' woman. All I know is, I trust her. I can't tell you why exactly, and its not like I'm the most trusting of guys usually, but that's the way I feel. She's not like a cold-blooded killer or anything…".

Mal wore a sceptical look at the words pouring out of Jayne, who didn't seem to notice, as he went right on talking. "Sure, she ain't above lyin' when it serves her purpose, but overall it seems she is tryin' to live her life up to some kinda standard, like she is tryin' to do some good in the 'verse. She kinda reminds me of you and Zoë, that way. Anyhow, something I said to her about the Tams gave her a reminder of something else and she wanted to meet with you. I believe she's just here to talk, Mal. Can't you just hear her out?"

Mal's expression had gone from sceptical all the way to incredulous during Jayne's little speech. He regarded Jayne's slightly pleading expression, and then looked over the assassin he had gotten them all messed up with. There was something there, for certain, 'cause Jayne didn't use that many words about other people, and he didn't look at them like he had looked at her. Yep, he was soft on her, that was for sure. What interested Mal, though, was her demeanour towards Jayne. Was it possible that she might be soft on him too? When she was being led up the ramp by Zoë, she had looked at Mal like a bounty hunter should, assessing risk, looking for weakness, sizing him up. Now, as Selene watched Jayne, it was completely different, like she was actually concerned that Mal might keelhaul him for bringing her. That confused Mal almost as much as Jayne's overtalking. Jayne was usually one to hit first and explain himself later, and the fact that he didn't rise to Mal's insults was only one indication that something had turned in the big man. Mal just hoped it wasn't his loyalties. He made the decision then to find out just what was going on, from someone who might make more sense that Jayne Cobb.

"Zoë, would you bring our guest to the infirmary please, and I'll join you shortly". Zoë nodded her assent, and began to lead Selene off to the rear of the cargo bay, towards medical. On their way, they were suddenly face to face with Book, leaving his quarters. Selene's eyes went very wide, before she nodded to him, saying "Shepherd" in greeting. Book for his part seemed equally surprised, but was unable to respond as Zoë, said "'Scuse me preacher, this one's on her way to the infirmary".

"Does she need medical attention?" asked Book, when he found his tongue.

"Not yet", responded Zoë as she pushed her charge in front of her.

This exchange was not noticed by the two men left in the cargo bay, as they were deep in their own discussion. Mal turned back to Jayne. "You, go to your quarters and stay there." Jayne opened his mouth to protest, but Mal wouldn't even let him start. "I don't wanna hear it, Jayne. I need to hear what she has to say without interference from you. And if she's hypnotized you to take over the ship at her command, I don't want to find out about it by surprise. Go, now. Or I'll have the doctor give you a smoother and get you out of my hair for a spell". Jayne was seething, but did what he was told. He felt utterly torn, between worrying for Serenity and the Captain (even though he wanted to punch that smarmy look from his face) and worrying about Selene. He wanted to understand, to know what haunted her, and he hated that he couldn't be there for her now. She still trusted him a bit, he figured, and now she was alone out in the 'verse once more. He felt like he had failed her. Again.

"Where's Mr. Cobb?" was the first thing the pretty assassin said to him when he got to the infirmary. Mal felt his suspicion of her having brainwashed Jayne was justified, now more than ever.

"Confined to quarters. He won't be joining our little chat".

Selene was reclined on the examination table, strapped down (Zoë wasn't taking any chances with another assassin) and her arms still pinned behind her. Zoë stood to her left and slightly behind her, and Mal approached Selene on her right. They assessed one another for a few seconds. She spoke first. "It's not his fault, I asked him to set this up, and he didn't sell you out. He wouldn't. He's been leading me in circles for weeks. But I suppose you know all about that aspect. What you don't understand is why I wanted to meet you. I would have liked Mr. Cobb to hear this as well, because this is not a story I relish telling, Captain Reynolds." She paused, steeling herself for what was to come. The memories, the stories, the feelings, the questions. She swallowed before she spoke again.

"You know I have been hunting Simon and River Tam. You know Mr. Cobb was linked to the Tams by their arrest on Ariel. I … acquired Mr. Cobb to lead me to the Tams. I expected to either turn him to my purpose willingly with the promise of monetary reward, or to extract the information of the Tams' location forcibly from him. Events transpired which led to my re-evaluation of our … professional relationship; I offered him a partnership, and he accepted. Well, technically, he didn't actually accept; he pretended to do so when instead he led me away from you, alerted you to my plans, and kept me occupied and away from my target. It took me a little while to figure it out, because Mr. Cobb does not behave like … well, he didn't seem like the kind of man his profile made him out to be". Selene paused. She sounded like she was babbling. Focus, she thought. He needs to see you as sincere, not crazy.

"The warrant on the Tams sets out a number of their alleged crimes, warning anyone who comes in contact with them that they are to be considered very volatile, dangerous killers, and are not to be trusted. So my curiosity was naturally peaked when I discovered that Jayne, well, in fact you, Captain Reynolds, were harbouring a pair of psychotically murderous siblings. I confronted Jayne with what I knew about his contact with you, and he confessed a rather jumbled array of facts and stories about how this situation with the Tams and you came to pass. However, only one thing he said chilled me to the bone: the Academy. Jayne… Mr. Cobb mentioned that Simon Tam had stolen his sister from the Academy." She paused.

She sensed the presence of others listening just around the corner. Simon Tam was probably among them, other crew members there—definitely "the preacher", someone else too. She felt something familiar, like a tickle in her head. She was being read. River Tam? The Academy, she repeated in her head.

Bad place. The words came into her head as clear as if spoken out loud. Definitely River Tam.

I know — can't let them find you again.

Two by two, hands of blue, the voice sing-songed in her head. Selene shivered. Mal watched her, as she her eyes seemed to lose focus, and then her body convulsed, and her eyes rolled back into her head. Before he could call for the doctor, she seemed to be overcome by some kind of seizure; she shook, her eyes alternating between wide open and wild, to rolling and sliding back into her head; she cried out. "You're in terrible danger, the Tams, they are in danger, it will seek you out, find you, it wants her back…". Selene realized with dread that she was out of control; the thoughts were tumbling into her head from River, mixing with her own dark memories, and they ran like a torrent from her lips. She was trying to swim through, but she was drowning, sinking, the old paralyzing fear coming back "lao tian, bu, please please please help them, get them out of here now, they're coming, they're too close, get them away, get me out of here, just go, go, let me go".

Mal was fully convinced that the girl had just lost her last nut. Simon, clearly having disobeyed Mal's order to stay clear of the infirmary, rushed around the corner and immediately put together a potion of muscle relaxants and tranquilizers, same as he had to give to River at the beginning, and injected it into Selene's upper right shoulder. She screamed, a fearful sound that echoed through the whole ship, and finally her shaking began to subside. Her eyes closed, but she continued to emit a low whimpering sound, tears streaming down her face. Mal looked over at Zoë, and their thoughts were the same. Either this woman was a very, very good actor, or she had just had some sort of complete mental meltdown in front of them. Mal took the doctor aside, asked him what he thought was going on.

Simon considered his unwilling patient. "Captain, that was just the way River was at first".

"Could she have just faked all that?" Zoë piped in.

Simon shook his head slowly. "I don't think so. She's either been through something, or… oh my God, River!" Simon had caught sight of his sister, standing at the entrance to medical. The others turned to look. Her eyes were squeezed shut and her hands were clenched in fists at her temples. She didn't come in, but spoke from where she stood, her voice was distant, disembodied, and not quite her own.

"There, there, it's okay now. It's just a bad dream, it's over now". Selene's eyes opened, focussed with some difficulty, and managed to regard River through her drugged stupor, before she lost consciousness, whispering back, "Never be over".

When she awoke, Selene saw she was no longer strapped down or restrained. Her head felt as though it had been overstuffed with a mixture of cotton and nails. Her body, when she tried to move it, felt like it had been wrapped in the same substance. She groaned, and turned her head. River Tam. Sitting there watching her from her perch on a countertop. Simon Tam next to her, but he was facing the other way, his back to Selene. She knew them, not just from the photos on their warrants. River Tam had been at the Academy. Simon Tam had got her out. She felt River on the edge of her mind again, quietly, no pouring out of memories or fears, just a gentle question, pushing slightly. Wake up.

Simon Tam turned, "You're awake. You might want to lie still for a bit, the effect of the drugs I gave you might be slow to wear off". Simon checked her pupils and seemed satisfied with the result. He was all business.

"Are we off Persephone?" she managed to ask.

"Yes, Captain gave orders after your … episode that we should leave immediately."

"My ship…"

"Is safe. In our cargo bay. It was a tight squeeze, but Wash managed to do it. He and Kaylee were already en route to check your ship when you first came aboard Serenity. The Captain wants to meet with you again when you're ready." He handed her a glass of water.

Selene forced herself to sit up, and took a sip from the glass. She coughed. "I'm ready now", she croaked. She attempted a smile at Simon. River giggled, and Selene caught her eye. "Maybe a little later" Selene ventured, smiling at River. She finished her water. Simon did not smile, and regarded her coldly.

"The reason you're not still restrained is because River says you're trustworthy. For some reason, the captain believes her". Simon's arms were crossed over his chest, like he was holding in his fury. "I don't. You were sent here to capture us and turn us over to those who would kill us. I don't believe your purpose has changed one bit since you began this mission."

Selene turned her head to face Simon. "Dr. Tam, let's get a couple of things straight: I wasn't sent, I'm not on a mission. I take orders from no one. I'm freelance, I choose my targets." She looked back at River. "And I can choose to stop chasing them. My mind was changed". River smiled. Simon looked puzzled by this exchange between the bounty hunter and his sister.

"Simon, leave her be. She can help me. She's … I want her to stay, she can be one of us now". Simon raised his eyebrows at that, and took a step towards River, saying "Mei-mei, I don't think …". River ignored him and got down from her perch, brushed past him, and approached the table where Selene lay.

Selene's eyes were so heavy, even with the drugs wearing off, she was still exhausted. She tried to focus on Simon and River, but finally she allowed her eyes to close. She felt River touch her hair, stroking it from her forehead. It was soothing, River's presence near her and in her mind. But she was missing something, someone. Jayne. Where was he? Was the captain still angry with him? Her eyes flew open and she was looking into River's eyes then, her voice in her head.

He's around, he's worried, but he won't come in here. Rest now. It'll all be okay soon.

Selene closed her eyes again. She was so tired. She stretched her mind out one last time, and saw Jayne watching River stroke her hair. He was right there, but she couldn't hold on to consciousness for another moment. She struggled against the exhaustion, she had to talk to him. Rest, River insisted. Selene finally acquiesced.

A few hours later, the crew gathered in the mess, around the big dining table. Selene was looking more like herself, confident and in control. She sat in the middle of the starboard side of the long table, Jayne stood in the middle of the port side. He was keeping the table between them, staying in front of her, wanting to be close but fearing his reaction to her. Maybe Mal was right, he had been hypnotized or something, she was in his head somehow, and that was the cause of all the weird feelings he had been having.

He had disobeyed Mal's order when he heard her scream, stormed out of his quarters and raced down to the infirmary to see what kind of wicked torture the captain had subjected her to, ready to tear him apart if he had hurt her. He found the infirmary crowded by the rest of the crew, surrounding her, and found he couldn't make himself push in. Instead, he contented himself with watching her from a walkway above, through a small window on the side. He saw River stroking her hair, taking care of her. When he finally made the decision to go in, the crowd had left and Selene was asleep again. Simon looked at him more strangely than usual when Jayne's big frame blocked the entrance to the infirmary, his eyes locked on Selene, but still hesitating to get near her. "She gonna be okay, doc?" Simon nodded and said that he thought so; she hadn't had a seizure, more like some kind of mental overload, and it hadn't done any permanent damage. River was looking at him strange too, but that girl always looked funny to Jayne. And then she had to speak.

"Scared".

Jayne shifted his gaze from Selene to River. "I ain't scared of her".

"No", River continued, her hands still on Selene's forehead, her eyes wide. "Scared you'll lose her".

Jayne snorted at that, although his eyes betrayed his discomfort with River's suggestion. "Just came to return this". And with that, Jayne pulled some folded leather from the waistband of his pants, and dropped it on the counter. Simon picked it up; it was a leather belt and knife, folded together. River spoke again, her eyes still locked on Jayne.

"It's hers. Her mother gave it to her. She asked him to keep it safe". Simon looked at River, then Jayne, and finally down at Selene. Jayne was distinctly uncomfortable and flustered. What was it about this woman that had both Jayne and River, two people he found less alike to one another than, well, anyone he could think of, protective of her? Even before River was sent to the Academy, she tended not to trust new people. Jayne seemed to mistrust everyone, which is what made him valuable to the ship - he was like a mean, scary guard dog. A man-ape gone wrong. Interesting….

Jayne was all kind of spooked, like a deer in the headlights, his momma would've said, while River continued to stare at him. Simon finally spoke. "I'll return it to her when she wakes up". Simon's words snapped Jayne back into reality. He nodded at Simon, turned and stalked out of the infirmary. That girl seemed to have been able to pull his thoughts right from his head. Not right, he thought. Man's thoughts should be his own. And in front of the doc, too, gorammit. He decided it was definitely time to lift some heavy weights, to try to get rid of the jangling in his nerves.

…

He still felt uncomfortable a few hours later when Mal called everyone to meet in the mess. When he came in and saw Selene, he saw Simon, River and Inara there too, and put himself across the table from her. She was looking right at him, he could feel it, but he wouldn't meet her gaze.

Selene was watching Jayne, wanting an opportunity to speak with him alone, without everyone watching. When she awoke and River gave her the knife, she knew he had been there, but why didn't he talk to her, and why wouldn't he look at her now?

She sighed, and turned to River; River whispered something aloud to her about when the party would start. Selene knew the two of them could easily communicate with each other without words, but they had agreed that with the others, for now, they would talk out loud. They chattered together while the others entered, Zoë and Wash together, Book, then Kaylee.

Jayne saw out of the corner of his eye that Selene wasn't looking at him anymore. He kept his head down, so she wouldn't notice him watching her now. He saw how easily she and River seemed to talk, how easy River was with Selene, when River didn't tend to take to new people. Or anyone, really.

His brow furrowed, thinking there was something these two had in common, more than he understood. Sister, the word was in his brain. He looked up fully then, and River was looking right at him, and just then he knew she spoke the word in his head. His eyes went wide, but River just looked away, humming slightly to herself as she sometimes did. Crazy, moon-brained girl, he thought. What is she doing prying into my head? Or was that just my imagination? What did she mean by "sister" anyways? Just then, Mal came in to join them, and all the crew was present.

"Well, Ms. Nolan, I believe you have a tale to tell. River's told me that we need to trust you, and though I'm not of a mind to do so, the girl seems to know people, and that's good enough for me to hear you out. So, here we are now. Entertain us."

Selene grimaced more than smiled. She looked at the faces gathered around the table. To her right, River and Simon Tam, the Captain, Zoë, Wash the pilot, Jayne, the preacher, Book, next to him were Kaylee the mechanic, and next to her on her left, Inara the Companion. Her gaze went back to the preacher, she nodded to him; he nodded back. Mal observed the greeting that passed between them, frowned slightly, and made a mental note to follow it up later. Selene began.

"Twenty-five years ago, I was taken from my family to a school, the Academy, it was called. By now, through your experiences with Ms. Tam, you know it wasn't a school. My family did not have the benefit of such information, and they sent me there willingly because of the great opportunity it would afford me. When the Academy recruiters arrived, and tested all the children, they told my parents I had done very well, so well in fact they would take me on a full scholarship. On the surface, it really did appear to be a great deal for me: to be educated with the intellectual elite; my parents didn't have to pay—they couldn't have, they were merchants, owned a small supply store on Radiant Sky." Mal nodded, he knew Radiant Sky, a small world settled by farmers and miners. In the very armpit of the 'verse, unfortunately.

Selene continued. "I was in the Academy proper for six years. There was a school, but it was secondary to the experiments, and the training. I was tortured and trained into becoming an assassin. From what I understand, I had a number of abilities naturally suited to being a killer, that's what their first tests were designed to find. My brain was cut into, and I was fed cocktails of drugs, pills, hallucinogens, what have you, in order to make my mind more … malleable. My natural abilities were heightened, strengthened. Upon "graduation", I was sent on missions. Bombings. Kidnappings. Murders. Assassinations. I had been perfectly programmed, and I behaved exactly as they expected. I'm sure some of this sounds familiar to you, River". Selene paused as River nodded. Simon looked incredulous as the further details of what his sister must have gone through were revealed by this assassin. But it certainly might explain some of River's more … bizarre behaviours.

"We were supervised, controlled, kept in line I guess, by men called handlers, always travelling in pairs, always wearing blue gloves. They were … made by the Academy. Where their hands used to be is all robotic. There are places in the 'verse, places where they cut off the hands of thieves. Years before I arrived, amputees had come to the Academy, a centre of healing, they were told, looking for help. The Academy enslaved them and experimented on them. They changed the way their brains processed information. They created a creature no longer quite human: handlers.

My life as an assassin went on for a number of years. Then one day, something happened, and my programming began to fail. I asked too many questions, I didn't kill a couple of my targets. I contacted my family, tried to reconnect with them. They hadn't seen me since I left for the school. They told me about letters I had apparently written to them, telling them that I didn't want to see them anymore. I don't remember ever writing such letters, although with the brain experiments and the drugs, I could have. But in my heart, I don't think I actually wrote them. I escaped from the Academy's compound one night, ran back to my family. In response, the handlers brought in a team, kidnapped me and took me back for "retraining", and slaughtered my family." Selene stopped, and swallowed. The rest of the table were in shock. Their faces were full of the horror that she felt. Wash muttered "Tian sa de e mo" under his breath.

"The "retraining" wouldn't stick. I pretended to go back to the way I was, but every day I watched them, waiting for an opportunity to get away. That came during my yearly medical examination, about nine years ago. I subdued the doctors, broke free, stole my entire medical file, destroyed their computer database, and killed my handlers. I headed for Persephone, where there was a doctor I had heard about who worked with survivors of brain experimentation and torture. I thought he could help me. I stole funds, commandeered a ship, and got myself to Persephone. The doctor was real, and he was able to implant a neuro-chip which allowed me to be back in control of my own brain. Part of the programming, the parts of the brain they cut into, makes one extremely susceptible to the handlers' call, and the chip blocks those signals. It means I still have most of the skills, but the handlers no longer control me."

"They tracked me for years. Every time they came, I killed whoever they sent, handlers, trackers, bounty hunters, and sent them back to the Academy in pieces. I murdered eight blue hands that way. I have killed others when the need arose; I got work where I could. I am trained as an assassin, after all".

She looked around at the others, seeing their discomfort. She levelled her gaze at Mal. "I have a code, I only hunt those that exist on the pain and suffering of others. I can't say that has always been the case. I killed many people in the years before my … emancipation. I have terrible dreams; images pop into my head, and I don't even know if they're memories or dreams, or if they were my own or implanted there by the Academy. It was hardest at the beginning, when I first broke free. Every day, I would have a vision or a memory, the cruelty and the terror of it felt like I was living inside a nightmare."

Selene looked right at Simon then. "What they were doing to River, at the Academy. They were trying to make her like me. A killer. Assassin for Blue Sun Halo. And they will want her back."

Mal was frowning, what was she talking about? He had never heard of this Blue Sun Halo. Selene heard his question before he spoke it, turns out a few others were thinking it too. She continued, "Blue Sun Halo is know mostly by its Mandarin name, Lan Shai Ri Yun. It is the military and political wing of Blue Sun Incorporated, which, as I am sure you are aware, is the largest corporation on most of the colonized worlds. They operate on an agenda that is sometime in congress with the Alliance, but really they are a law unto themselves. The Alliance governing counsel is full of Blue Sun lackeys, members of the Boards of Directors of various arms of Blue Sun, but their influence on Alliance policy pales in comparison to their ability to shape events on all worlds to suit their needs. If you name five, ten, twenty prominent assassinations in the last ten years, I can promise you that most if not all of them were carried out by Blue Sun Halo."

Selene paused, and looked directly at Mal then. "Including John Flemming of the Governing Counsel". Mal's eyes went cold, and his lips pressed together in a tight line. He looked around the table, only Zoë and Book seemed to be aware of who this person was. When he spoke, he answered the unspoken questions in the eyes of the others. His voice was sharp, betraying his struggle to keep his temper.

"Counsellor Flemming was sympathetic to the Independents". His face was grey. "Ten years ago, before the war started, he gave his support to a group of farmers on one of the outer colonies, who wanted to sell their crops on the open market, and not be forced to sell it at an artificially low price to the Alliance. He was killed in his home a few days later; most folks said it was bandits, although there were whispers about him being killed by spies for the Alliance. His death caused those who had any sympathies towards the Independents to shut up about them, and throw their support to the Alliance. The outer planets were kept in servitude to the Alliance, resentment continued to grow, along with the Independence movement. It polarized the known 'verse, made the war between Alliance and Independence almost inevitable".

"His family was supposed to have been killed too, by those same bandits", Selene said, slowly and soberly. "Those were my orders".

Selene let her confession seep in. She knew Mal was going to have a very difficult time in accepting this, but she needed to have it all out in the open. There could be no secrets now.

It was Zoë who next spoke. "You killed him?" Selene nodded to her, and turned back to Mal.

"He was to be the example, the warning. For those that disagreed with the goals of Blue Sun, to have all the settled planets under Alliance control. This is what would happen to you, to your family. I remember him so clearly, and his family too. He had a wife, teenaged girl, a baby boy, a dog. All of them huddled together. My orders were to kill them all."

Jayne had been giving Selene his full attention as she told her story, but when she paused, he looked to Mal. He had heard the barely restrained anger in the Captain's voice in telling of Counsellor Flemming's death, and felt the undercurrent of the want to do some violence emanating from him. He was worried Mal would try to hurt Selene, and Jayne felt he could not let that happen.

Sure enough, Mal looked as if he wouldn't need an order to kill her now, if he could. Selene met his murderous gaze with calm eyes, her voice remained low and modulated.

"I followed my programming. I killed the counsellor. There was no agreeing or disagreeing with the programming. I just did it. But when I turned to his family, that's when it happened. The first crack". Her eyes clouded a little, as she visited the memories she had tried to hard to purge from her conscience. "Counsellor Flemming was dead, his blood seeping across the floor. His wife was sobbing, she was clutching the baby and huddled over him. The dog barked and barked, and then suddenly stopped. That's when I saw her, the teenaged girl. She didn't move or cry, she had her hand curled around the dog's collar, to keep it calm. She met my eyes. She didn't speak, and yet I could hear her in my thoughts. She told me I had other choices, and then she showed me images of her life: her parents, friends, home, her school, memories of kissing a boy, playing with the dog. When I blinked, the images were gone, and she still held my eyes. That's the first time I met one like me, like I had been before they took me away and experimented on me, changed me. She was a natural reader".

"She provided me a crack in the armour of my programming. She showed me the door in my mind, where, if I went through, I could choose my own actions. And then she left my thoughts, and let me choose. She risked her life and the life of her family to do that. I could have turned away from that door and followed my programming, kill them all right there, or go through the door. When I ripped that door from its hinges, and I made my first choice in years, to spare them and defy my handlers. To stop killing. I told the girl to run, to take the others away from there. She did, and I hear they survived." Mal nodded, the family had survived. But had been unable (or unwilling) to tell the investigators any details about those who had been responsible for the death of the counsellor.

Selene continued. "My life, my conscious being began that day. I started to disobey orders, and ask questions. I still carried out assignments, but only if I was satisfied the target was worthy of death by my hand. In the months following the death of Counsellor Flemming, only the most evil beings were ended by me. Soon after, I ran away, back to my family. We only had a few weeks together before the handlers came for me. I was naïve, I thought they would just let me go, since I wasn't working up to my old standard, they wouldn't want me at Blue Sun anymore. I was wrong. And for that, my mistake, my naivety, everyone and everything I cared for was destroyed. My family were tortured and killed. My home was levelled. Friends, relatives, casual acquaintances, slaughtered."

"That's why I've come here. You all need to understand. What I was. What they did to me, and made me do. What they'll do to her." She looked right at River, who nodded.

"They didn't finish. Dr. Tam, Simon, got her away from them, but they want her back. She's a natural reader, probably the most powerful one they've ever seen. She could read people long before they tampered with her. Now she's even stronger. Can feel them coming. Like I could. Like Counsellor Fleming's daughter could. They will make her into a killer, efficient, and soulless."

Selene looked around at all of them, her eyes settled on Jayne, but he wasn't looking at her, he was watching Mal. She saw that his body was tense, but as she watched, he relaxed a little. She followed his gaze and looked at Mal. He was not looking at any of them; his eyes were focussed on a spot on the table. She could see the murderous rage in his eyes fade a little, as he began to comprehend what she was getting at. Selene continued, talking directly to Mal now, who looked up again, into her eyes. "With these new warrants, bounty hunters from all over the sector will be looking for Mr. Cobb, spurred by a ridiculously large bounty. When they capture him, they will turn him in to the Alliance, where they or Blue Sun agents will torture or dissect him or whatever they need to do to get to Dr. Tam and River. They'll get their information, and the handlers will come for her. They already have a network of spies, and they may already know about your ship. Because, they were on Persephone before we left".

River nodded, she had felt their presence too, even though they were far off. She had tried to tell Simon, but her words wouldn't work and he didn't understand. She had poured the information into Selene, who overloaded under the weight of River's panic and her own tortured memories.

The rest of the crew absorbed all this silently, for several moments. Mal was first to speak. "What can we do?"

Selene shook her head. "I'm not sure. I didn't have a plan when I came to you, only … I needed to know if they … the Academy, were back in business. I hadn't heard of another like me in … well, it's been a long while. And to see if she needed help, or information on how to get past the programming." She spoke directly to Simon, "I can direct you to the doctor who helped me." Simon nodded, stunned. Selene looked at River, and then around the room. "And also to warn you all, anyone who travels with her, they'll be ruthless. They'll kill you all when they come for her. They killed those federals on Ariel, just for being in the same room as her."

Mal considered Selene for a moment. He looked around the table. All these people depended on his decision now. The woman had just admitted being an Alliance assassin, or Blue Sun Halo, whatever, and killing many people. Including a political assassination that was the catalyst for a war, one in which he had lost a good number of friends. So much death. And yet, she offered them a possible explanation and solution for River, and a warning, which very likely was real. It was obvious that Jayne trusted her, though his judgment was suspect, and River … since Jubal Early, he had respected her ability to handle herself. She seemed to stick to Selene, trusted her. Selene had confirmed what they had all suspected, that River was a reader, and potentially a dangerous assassin. Like Selene. That could mean she was manipulating them all for her own amusement, Mal thought. He didn't think that was likely, somehow, she seemed too forthright, too … honest somehow. And River likely wouldn't be fooled by an act. He was a little nonplussed to think that Jayne might actually have been right about her; she was trying to survive in the universe, just like the rest of Serenity's inhabitants.

He finally spoke. "Alright, there isn't much more to say, except this. We should think upon what we heard here today before deciding on our next move. I am inclined to believe Ms. Nolan here, as my gut is telling me to, and I usually follow what my gut tells me. The rest of you, I'm sure, will not hesitate to inform me of the error of letting my digestion guide this ship". He looked pointedly at both Inara and Zoë at that comment, both of whom failed to rise to the bait.

"However, River here trusts her, and that gives me some comfort. Nonetheless I don't fancy our chances up against these handlers, even with two trained assassins on our side." River looked up at him and smiled. A little creepy, that. "We fly to Halcyone for our next job. I would love for someone to come up with a brilliant plan by the time we're done there. No doubt we're being followed, so let's try to look inconspicuous". Mal looked at Wash. "Fly subtle", he instructed.


	5. Consequences

Disclaimer: Firefly and her crew are not mine, all hail Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy etc.

Feedback is welcome, and thank you so much for the kind remarks thus far!

This is Chapter 5 more to come. Chapter 6 will explain the "R" rating….

Chinese translations:

lao tian, bu: oh god no  
Tian sa de e mo: goddamned monsters, wicked demons  
Ren ci de Fo zu: merciful Buddha  
dong ma: understand  
mei-mei: little sister  
xin ai di xiong di: beloved brother 

Consequences

Mal hung over Wash's shoulder as the pilot repeated the results of his search, for the last hour of being stuck at the helm: there were no ships in the vicinity which appeared to be interested in them. No signs of anyone tracking them either, although he couldn't say for sure that there wasn't someone out there who was just very good at not being detected.

Wash then excused himself to join the others, who were playing what appeared to be a very raucous game of cards in the dining hall, leaving Mal in helm control to chew over this information (or lack thereof). He was leaned up against the storage locker, thinking about their lack of a good plan when Selene appeared at the doorway, sauntered in, and plopped herself down in Wash's chair. Mal raised his brows, and folded his arms. Selene pretended not to notice his defensive stance, and picked up one of Wash's toy dinosaurs.

"I believe I might just have a plan, Captain Reynolds" she began, as the dinosaur "walked" across a control panel.

For all his brave words about believing and trusting Selene the other day, Mal still had his doubts about her, and her reasons for coming to Serenity to meet him, but he was curious to hear what she had to say. "I can hardly wait" he deadpanned.

Selene raised her eyes at the Captain's apparent diffidence, but looked down again to continue to fiddle with the dinosaur. She was a little nervous to lay out her plan to the Captain; it involved a great deal of risk to his crew, and from what little she knew of him, she understood he would be reluctant to put his crew in danger. "The way I see it, our problem is twofold", she began. Mal noted her use of the word "our". And the fact she was still playing with Wash's dinosaur.

"There are two sets of warrants: one set is Alliance, for Jayne … I mean Mr. Cobb, and Simon and River Tam; the others are Blue Sun and they are for the Tams only. Mr. Cobb's warrant information is in the Alliance system, which puts it on the standard notice boards, but his warrant wasn't labelled as a priority until recently. The Tams' warrants, however, are noted as high priority. That's why you've had both Alliance spies and bounty hunters coming after the Tams, but no one for Mr. Cobb, until me. While only a few people until now have been aware of the bounty on Mr. Cobb, there are many more aware of the bounty on the Tams." She was continuing to fiddle with the dinosaur (it was now doing a little dance), but when she looked up to see Mal regarding her a mite strangely, she put it back with its other friends. And continued, holding his gaze.

"Getting rid of those warrants won't be easy, but there is a way. I did it myself when I needed to disappear. We need to erase the idents of all three from the Alliance central system computers. That can be accomplished by hacking in on any Alliance mainframe and deleting the files. Someone then needs to initiate a cascading systems failure which will crash the entire Alliance network. I have developed a virus, a worm really, which can accomplish this. When the system reboots, the identities of the three and the warrants will be gone, and no-one will know they were even in there in the first place". She held eye contact with Mal, looking up at him, watching his reaction thus far.

Mal sighed. This did not sound to him like an easy plan. "Mainframes are hard to come by and well-guarded. How do we get to one, undetected, erase files and crash the system without getting all kinds of arrested, might I ask?"

Selene had considered this. "All the big military ships have a mainframe, connected to the entire network at any given time. I can tell you exactly how to get on one of those ships, with minimal risk to those on the mission". Mal raised an eyebrow at that, but said nothing further.

Selene took Mal's silence as his assent (for the moment anyway) and continued. "As for problem of the Blue Sun warrants on the Tams, that is much more tricky. They have a separate system from the Alliance, very well protected. But if we don't get rid of the warrants there, they will simply re-post their information to the Alliance, and all the work of erasing River and Simon from the Alliance systems will have been for nothing. We would have to hijack or capture a handler ship, and hack into their system separately, either before or simultaneous to hacking into the Alliance system. Again, it is just a matter of erasing some key files, feeding in the virus, and watching their systems crash."

Mal finally spoke, having guffawed ever so slightly at the suggestion of attacking a Handler ship. "Is that all?" he said. "A simple plan, maybe a mite ambitious, don't ya think?"

"I didn't say it would be easy, and I have to admit there's a good deal of risk involved. The way I see it, we'd need two teams, one for the Alliance ship, one for Blue Sun. I will be in charge of the Blue Sun team. And I believe I know who will be best suited for the Alliance team." Selene leaned forward in her chair, and looked intently into Mal's eyes.

Mal was amazed at her brazenness, and he leaned in towards her too, saying, "Excuse me, Ms. Nolan, but who's the captain here and who's the … guest?"

Selene smiled, and leaned back. She crossed her legs and picked up her small plastic dinosaur friend, studying it intently. "Captain Reynolds, of course you will have the final say on whatever you decide to do. You might keep in mind, though, that I have done this before, successfully, and my experience and skills might be of use to you in such a venture." At that point, she looked up, met Mal's eyes again, and smiled coldly. "Besides which, in the absence of any other bright ideas, you are going to have to dump your medic and his sister, plus your pet merc, on the next habitable rock, because the amount of heat on your ship and your business is going to be unbearable once the word spreads of that big fat bounty Jayne Cobb is carrying on his head".

Mal shook his head. He didn't like being backed into a corner, whether she was right or not. He wondered again if she was manipulating him for some purposes other than what she had told them. He retorted, "Whether or not you may have a point, I am still captain of this ship. As far as I'm concerned, any decisions made will be mine, taking your … suggestions under advisement".

Selene bristled. She put down the dinosaur a little forcefully, and although she remained seated, her anger seemed to crackle around her. "Captain Reynolds, this is my plan; I'm not making "suggestions" to you. I'm involved all the way, or not at all", she snarled in her most imperious companion tone.

Mal gritted his teeth; he hated when Inara spoke to him like that, and he didn't like it any better coming from this damned assassin bitch. It was arrogance, pure and simple, he thought.

"I'm a reader, Captain Reynolds, remember?" Selene spat. She looked furious, spoiling for a fight, Mal thought. And just as if she had heard him, she breathed sharply and deeply, visibly reining herself in, abandoning the companion's tone, but still full of her sense of rightness. "It's not arrogance, Captain. I just know what this mission will require of each and every person involved. I had to do this all on my own last time, and I almost died in the process. I don't want that to put anyone on this ship in unnecessary danger."

She looked down at her hands, still clenched in her lap. She willed them open, breathing deeply, her body relaxing. When she felt ready, she raised her eyes to Mal again. "Look, I know you don't have much reason to trust me. You barely know me, and I've been out in the 'verse on my own for so long, I forget how to talk to people. I'm sorry, for coming across like a royal pain in the ass". Mal smiled at that, taking his own irritation down a notch. She noted his reaction positively and continued. "I am very much aware of what I'm asking you to do, Captain Reynolds. I understand the risk that you and your people would be taking in order to carry out this plan. I hope you can believe me when I say that I'm trying to keep your people as safe as possible. I wouldn't ask you to put your faith behind me if I weren't sure it would work, that we could handle this." She faltered for a moment, then grinned wickedly. "Besides, if I wanted to hurt you, I could've killed you all several times over by now." Mal's smile froze on his face, before it was apparent to him that she was, indeed, joking. He grinned full out, and shook his head.

"Well, Ms. Nolan, you certainly have a way about you. You're quite right; I'm not all that certain I trust you." He looked at her intently as he continued. "But, it seems that River trusts you, and Jayne … well, I think Jayne most times doesn't trust his own momma, so when he tells me that he trusts you, that's not nothing." Mal saw Selene wince a little at hearing Jayne's name, but she recovered well. Hit a nerve there, Mal thought. He could see she wasn't cold-blooded, like Jubal Early, and although she was guarded about many things (the issue of Jayne seeming to be one of them), she probably had good reason to be. Couldn't hurt to hear her out. He regarded her for a moment longer. "All right. Let's hear some details. I'll bet this plan of yours is a doozy".

Selene smiled, warming up to this Captain. He was a pragmatist, she thought, not unlike herself. Before she could begin outlining any of her plan, Mal motioned for her to wait a moment, while he turned and walked a couple of steps away, looking over to make sure the others were still well involved in their game far off in the kitchen, which they were. It appeared River had stolen Kaylee's cards, and was running around the table with Kaylee chasing after her. The others were laughing and cheering one or both of the girls on.

Mal, still watching the antics in the kitchen, he continued, "Besides which, we don't have any other plans, and I couldn't figure how to get rid of you when you latched onto Jayne in the first place…". Mal turned back towards her and smiled a little sheepishly at this confession.

Selene smiled, "My friend Ban-Wei tells me I'm like a fungus that way, Captain Reynolds, hard to get rid of once I grow on you".

Mal actually laughed out loud. "Just one thing", he said. "You have to stop calling me Captain Reynolds all the time. Call me Mal, or Captain, or Cap, 'cause seriously, Captain Reynolds sounds like he's got a stick up his pi-goo. Oh, and that whole "Mr. Cobb" thing? The man's name is Jayne, and we ain't never heard him called "Mr." anything." Mal watched her face when he said Jayne's name, but she didn't react. He leaned in a little closer to her, not willing to let this go. "You spent a lot of time with the man. What did you call him during those long weeks, alone together?" Now her discomfort was apparent. Time to cut to the chase, he thought. He leaned back a little, giving her some room to breathe. "It's obvious something's going on between the two of you; do you want to tell me what that is, exactly?"

Selene had tried to keep from showing a reaction. She knew she looked uncomfortable, and felt she had to regain control. She looked up at him, willed a charming smile to her lips, and replied, "Captain, I will surely try to call you by whatever title you prefer, and I may even get used to calling you Mal. I've never had cause to be close to people before, so first names can be a little awkward for me." She held his eyes, deliberately. "As for Mr. Cobb … Jayne … as I'm sure he has told you, I paid a tidy sum to get him away from some unsavoury slaver types, in order to get information on a bounty. I was clear at the time that our … relationship would be on a purely business level. And that's where it stands now, as far as I am aware. There is really nothing more to tell". Her smile did not extend to her eyes, as Mal studied her closely.

Mal knew there was more to tell, since the moment she came on board with Jayne, it was apparent to anyone with eyes that there was something there. He could hear it in her voice now; the way they looked at each other, the palpable tension between them when they were in the same room. But, he thought, she wasn't going to give him anything more. At least, not right now. Maybe he could talk Kaylee or Inara into finding out more from her, woman to woman. He already knew he wouldn't get much out of Jayne, more than he already got, without dangling him out an airlock, and he didn't want to use that trick again unless he really had to. So, once again, he was faced with the decision of whether or not to trust her.

Finally, he nodded, and smiled his own tight smile, which didn't make it to his eyes. "Alright then, Selene Nolan, let's talk teams".

Selene could see he didn't believe her lack of explanation, but she was relieved that he seemed to be letting it go, at least for the time being. After all, how could she explain to him what she herself did not understand? Any ability she had at reading Jayne seemed to have disappeared over the past few days, leaving her frustratingly unaware of his feelings on any subject, but especially of her. She didn't know exactly what she felt for him, and told herself it didn't matter anyway: she had a mission to plan. She just hoped Mal could trust her enough to see the logic of what she proposed.

"First", she began, "what I am about to tell you, all the details of this plan, I ask you please to divulge to no-one else, not the rest of the crew. The survival of all of us will depend on discretion. Is that going to be a problem for you?"

Selene and River met daily in the cargo bay, early, before the other stirred. Selene began by teaching River meditation to calm her mind, showing River how to harness her energy through yoga and Tai-Chi, and then demonstrated to her the various fighting styles she had been taught at the Academy all those years before, plus some she had picked up over the years. River's knowledge of fighting was limited; she had been recovered by Simon fairly early on, and the Academy probably wanted to make sure they had her on a tight leash before they began to teach her the art of killing. River had some natural talent though, having been a dancer, and, as Mal had warned Selene, the ability to kill three men with nothing but math and a gun.

Mostly, they didn't speak, at least out loud. They found it easier to communicate directly, wandering in and out of each other's minds, seeing the ideas, copying, understanding. River learned very quickly. Their shared mental abilities seemed to get even stronger the longer they spent together. It was difficult for each of them to disengage when training time was over, and sometimes found themselves wandering into the other's thoughts before they even realized it was happening. Selene found increasingly that the thoughts of the others on board seemed to become louder, more insistent, but River had been learning to block them out some, and she taught Selene how to manage the deluge of information that seemed to leap into her brain, unbidden. Selene was amazed by River's talents and strength. Selene had always had to concentrate and reach her mind out to hear others, but River's gift was much stronger, and intrusive.

Having someone with whom to share her thoughts was helping River's recovery, Selene observed. She was increasingly able to articulate to Simon and the others what she was feeling and thinking, without it coming out all garbled or strange. River told Simon that Selene's mind was like an anchor, their contact stopped her from drifting away into nightmares and madness.

River and Selene shared their Academy memories with each other too, gently, and in small pieces, not like that first day when the combination of River's memories and her own had sent Selene into a mental overload, seizure or panic attack, whatever it was.

Selene discovered the Academy training had probably changed little since her time. They started with the experiments and operations on the brain, to heighten the senses, and lessen the individual's will and control. Between surgeries, the subjects were trained by a former top-level companion. Blue Sun knew that a companion's identity opened doors to almost anywhere in the known 'verse, and was therefore a perfect cover for an assassin. Companion training was also valuable in teaching the separation of emotion from logic. River had been able to access some of this training, when she was lucid, before Selene came. She showed Selene her experiences with Badger, and Jubal Early. She had read them, used the information from their heads together with a gesture, an accent, a hidden memory, to throw them off, make them sloppy, gain an advantage. Of course, River giggled, everyone had been too shocked when she wandered around talking like Badger to take advantage of her grand distraction.

When the brain surgeries were complete, then began the most intensive fighting programs and training, the weapons, killing techniques, and so on. Troubling to Selene though, was that while she had been one of perhaps three or four, when she went through "the program", River said there were dozens of "students" in her class. Dozens of Blue Sun assassins! How many of them natural readers? Selene asked in her thoughts. Not many, River replied. Maybe four or five. Bad enough, thought Selene. Could be worse, River retorted. There were more, but they went mad. They would be fine, then the next day the madness would come, take hold of them, and sink forever into them. Men came, and took the afflicted ones away, and we never saw them again. Don't know what happened to them. Selene shivered. She knew. She hid it from River.

And so the days passed, as they practised, planned their mission, and shared their company, in near silence. They were aware as the others began to wake, went to the mess, did their work, or just watched them curiously. Inara and Zoe sometimes joined them in their yoga stretches or Tai-Chi, in the afternoons or evenings. And then there was Jayne. He watched from up on a high catwalk, where he thought he wouldn't be detected. But Selene felt him up there, saw herself and River through his eyes. River prodded at her in her mind, told her to go to him, talk to him. Selene wouldn't, and River sighed audibly at the stubbornness of the two of them. Jayne watched Selene all the time, it seemed, but avoided direct contact with her, even hid from her once when she did come looking. At least, he thought she was looking. And Selene was continually frustrated that her lack of ability to read Jayne, despite the heightening of her reading abilities when River was around, wasn't improving. Ever since they first met, he seemed to have the ability to close off parts of his mind, like doors and windows shutting her out. And without the knowledge he felt something for her, she told herself, she couldn't allow herself to be emotionally vulnerable to him.

River thought they were both terrible cowards. She was having some trouble, trying to understand the interactions between men and women. She watched the others, looking for clues. Many guarded their hearts, like Selene, and Jayne: Mal, Inara and Simon too. Kaylee, on the other hand, was very open when it came to matters of the heart; she wore her admiration for Simon like a shiny necklace. Zoe and Wash also, they shone in the presence of one another, their comfort was like a warm sweater, whether they were working together, arguing, or making love. River sometimes heard them in her head and felt their connection like waves tumbling onto the beach. She blushed furiously when it happened during training with Selene one day. She swooned a little, and Selene caught her and held onto her, reaching into her mind to balance her again. Selene saw and felt what River had seen, and she chuckled a little in her head. She admonished her silently, there were some things that should be private, they shouldn't snoop in. I couldn't help it, thought River back, they jump into my head sometimes. It's better than it used to be.

River ventured a little further, silently asking Selene about her past lovers (she knew Selene had some), but Selene was very guarded. There were still places in her mind she kept secret from River. She said River was too young yet, and although River pouted a little (How else am I to learn about things, she asked silently), she let it drop.

As the days passed, and preparations were made, Selene thought over each aspect of her plan. She and River were to take The Circe to Boros, where Selene had traced the handlers who had been following them from Persephone. Mal had been none to happy with her plan to attack the handlers with only River by her side. Any notion he had of trusting her seemed to evaporate when she suggested it: River was too young, too fragile; Simon wouldn't allow it; Selene was going to sell River out; and so forth. Selene quieted him simply, telling him to ask River if she wanted to do it, and if she did, they would handle Simon, and she would ensure River was physically and mentally up to the challenge. River had chosen that moment to enter helm control, her hair all mussed from running around the table with Kaylee's cards, before Kaylee had managed to wrassle them back from her.

"She's right, we are the only ones who can go", River said, a little out of breath. "The only ones who can stop them from coming after us. Anyone else will die trying".

Selene looked at the dishevelled girl, and nodded. She turned to Mal. "Look Captain, the Academy put me through hell. Many times over. There is no way, in this lifetime or the next, that I would allow them to take this girl and put her through that again. I would kill her myself before I would let that happen. That is, obviously, not an outcome that I would like to see, but if it came down to it, I would ensure both our deaths, rather than to be used again like that". River had nodded. Mal had found himself appeased. Spooked, but appeased.

But Simon was another matter. When Mal told him what Selene had planned, and that River had already agreed to along with it, he was panicked. He hadn't risked everything to save his sister, just to have her die in a foolish attempt to storm a handler ship. He was the only other person on the crew, outside of Mal, who knew what Selene and River had planned. He had begged River not to go, he begged Selene to leave River behind, but in the end, River insisted it was her choice and hers alone, that she knew he was worried, but that Selene would look after them both. "That's why she came, Simon. She came to find me and help me. With her help, I can defeat them, I can get them out of my head and start to learn how to be a real girl". Simon felt helpless, he couldn't change River's mind, and he didn't want to deny her the chance to have a normal life. But that didn't stop him from resenting Selene's influence over his baby sister. River looked up to Selene, and they shared some sort of wordless communication with each other, he knew. River somehow told Selene things that she couldn't, or wouldn't share with him. River tried to explain it to him, but he couldn't hear her. He only felt his unhappiness that this stranger was taking his sister away from him. He knew it was irrational, yet he didn't seem to be able to stop feeling it.

Although Selene seemed genuinely protective of River, and, if he admitted it, of him too, he still resented her. She came to him a day after the plan was hatched, to give him more information about her own implant, and how one like it could help River. Simon, still angry, turned away, and growled, "If she survives".

"Simon, there's something else". He refused to look at her, refused to turn around, despite Selene's pleading tone. Finally, she grabbed his shoulders and turned him forcefully to face her. Simon was shocked by her strength, and startled as he stared into her eyes, the colour of a storm at sea, filled with pain. "Simon", she began, "I will take care of her. I won't take her away from you." She faltered, and looked away, and Simon knew there was more. She dropped her hands from his shoulders, and looked into his eyes again. He saw pity there. He didn't much like it. "I … I've looked into River's mind, and she … she doesn't know anything about what I'm about to tell you. Any knowledge I have about it, I've hidden from her. She'll find out soon enough, but I didn't want … ." Selene didn't seem to know how to continue and looked away again.

Simon, his anger ebbing away, being replaced by a mixture of curiosity and dread, touched her arm, and guided her back to lean against the examination table. Selene took his hand in hers. "Simon" she started, looking him in the eyes again. "I'm so sorry. Your parents … they're dead Simon. Blue Sun had them murdered, and framed you and River. I … I think they wanted to make your crime seem so horrible, that no-one would question why the Alliance was hunting down a young surgeon and a teenaged girl." Selene could see all the emotions playing out on Simon's face: shock, disbelief, anger, grief.

"No", he said, shaking his head, pulling his hand from Selene's, "it's not possible. I just saw … why would anyone … lao tian, bu!" he gasped, his eyes wide as he backed away from her. Selene let him go, watched him move away, all with the sorrow she felt reflecting back from her eyes. Simon was shaking, he felt he couldn't trust his legs to hold him up. "What if it's another lie, to get us to go back?"

It was Selene's turn to shake her head. "I don't think it's a lie. When I told Jayne to bring me to Serenity to meet with the Captain, to find out about you and River, I used our travel time to do some more research, dig a little deeper. Their deaths were on your warrants. The police reports … they appear genuine. I cross-referenced every allegation, every piece of evidence I could access. It all adds up. There … there were pictures too." Selene looked down. "The Handlers, they're tian sa de e mo, Simon. There's nothing they won't do". She was remembering the carnage they left behind on her home world. Wondered how she could have seen those pictures of the Tam house and not seen the similarities….

Simon looked as if he might be sick. "How long ago?" he asked, his voice soft.

Selene looked up. "The police reports indicate they found your parents' bodies on a Saturday; you and your sister were reported missing on Monday. You had taken the weekend off from the hospital, so when you didn't show up…. It must've been when you got River out of The Academy. That day, or the next."

Simon, still looking ill, and now haunted, met her eyes. "To save her, I sacrificed them? I … I had no idea anyone could do this. What kind of sick …". He didn't need to answer that. They had tortured his sister. Cut into her brain. Done god knows what to countless others. He had been naïve to think there wouldn't be repercussions for what he had done, stealing River from them. "Who else knows?"

"Jayne. I told him when I was trying to persuade him to help me get to you. I doubt he's said anything, or that he would. Ever. River doesn't know, but I don't know how long I can keep it from her."

Simon considered the bounty hunter, saw in her eyes how much it took for her to tell him about the death of his parents. He believed her, that she had been through as bad as this and then some. He supposed he should be grateful that he didn't have many friends, not close ones anyway, and that he had told no-one that he was going to get River out of the Academy. He couldn't get anyone else killed, then. Except for himself, River, the entire crew of Serenity…. Ren ci de Fo zu, what had he done?

Selene saw his pain, she knew what he was thinking, without having to look inside his head. "Simon, you mustn't blame yourself; it's them, they'll do anything to keep their control of her, and they would've turned her into a monster had you left her there. You couldn't have known what they would do. But now you know what they are capable of, if you had any doubts."

Simon looked down, nodding slowly. "I want to see the records. Everything. I need to … understand the reality of what you're saying. And I need to speak to River."

Selene nodded, and pulled an envelope from her back pocket. "Files are on the disk. Also there's printouts of some information I got off the Cortex." She held the envelope out to him, but he wouldn't meet her gaze. "Simon, I really am very sorry. The only thing I can tell you is this: I will do everything in my power to keep River from harm. But I need her for this mission, and you both need this mission to succeed in order to have any hope at a normal future."

Simon looked at her then, taking the envelope and its contents from her. "I'll tell River. Before you go. And Selene…?" Her eyes were locked with his, as she saw the determination and resolve take root there. "Kill them all. Obliterate them."

Selene had seen what grief could do to some, and didn't doubt the doctor's sincerity in what he asked of her. She took his hand in both of hers, and brought it to her lips, kissing his hand in a gesture of comfort and sorrow all at once. She met his eyes again.

"Dr. Tam… Simon… they will pay for this. As much as I can make them pay…, dong ma?" Her eyes were full of tears again, and Simon didn't trust himself not to completely lose control himself, should she set her emotions loose again. The pain was too fresh. He squeezed her hands, and let go, turning away.

Selene turned to leave, almost running into Jayne on her way out of the infirmary, neither she nor Simon having noticed him standing there during the last moments of their exchange. Jayne's expression was unreadable, but he saw Selene's eyes full of tears, and the anger came easily. What in the name of the mother goddess and all her wacky nephews was going on between them two? Selene looked up at him, her eyes reflecting her deep pain, before she rushed away. Jayne looked at the doctor, but his body language reflected something Jayne didn't want to mess with. More grief, pain. He thought better of a confrontation, and went back to his bunk. Seems he was spending most of his time there these days….

River's face was blank. Simon wondered if she had understood him. "Mei-mei? I know this is a shock, I'm sorry, the information Selene had was … genuine, I think." Simon still held her small hands in his. He looked at her eyes, but she didn't seem to be in there. He almost jumped out of his skin when she spoke.

"I knew Simon. I … knew when I woke up in that box. I had nightmares, I saw it … I kept it hidden in a back room in my mind. I didn't know how to tell you. So I left the memories in that room, and closed the door, locked it, and barricaded it. That's why Selene couldn't see that I knew." She finally seemed to come back to him, meeting his eyes with comprehension and sorrow. "I'm sorry xin ai di xiong di. I wish I had your courage". Simon was amazed, and a little disturbed, as he drew in his sister for a hug. They clutched each other and rocked for a while, but neither cried. All their tears had been shed, and there was a mission to complete.

River looked at Simon as they drew apart. "Simon, you know Selene is helping me, right? Helping me get better?" Simon nodded. "My words are getting better, I can speak my thoughts to you and they make sense. I know you don't understand how it is that she and I are able to communicate without speaking, just in our heads. I can't really explain it very well just yet. I don't have the right words. But I think you and I could do that too. Someday. When I have more skill, and maybe you can relax a little." She smiled at Simon's look of defensive surprise. "You can't deny it; you're wound so tight I'm surprised you don't snap like an elastic band sometimes. Kaylee tells you all the time. You should listen to her!" She pressed on. "You're my brother, and I think … no, I sense that you have skills to do what Selene and I do. So don't feel jealous of Selene; she can never be what you are to me, dong ma?"

Simon shook his head. She really was the smart one in the family. Even if they were all that was left… no, those thoughts need to stop. What he said instead was, "River, I don't have to tell you how worried I am for you to be out there. Be careful; be safe. Come back to me, okay?" They held each other close for a long while.

The rest of the crew knew that Selene and River were leaving, but Mal told them it was to visit a specialist to get River's brain looked at. Simon wouldn't discuss it with anyone, not even Kaylee. He pushed her away, her concern and her worried eyes, every time she tried to find out what was bugging him. It was vital, Selene had explained to Mal and Simon, that the others had no idea what she and River were up to. If the handlers were alerted to their purpose, the odds that she and River would be captured climbed out of their favour. They needed to catch their prey by surprise.

The other team, the one going on to the Alliance Destroyer, MacArthur, were to be Book, Zoe and Kaylee. Mal had been confused by Selene's insistence on these particular three, and Selene explained: Kaylee had mechanical and computer expertise she would be able to hack into the system, find and erase the files, and feed in the virus; Zoe was the muscle, and the only one who could likely pass as Book's niece. "As for Book", Selene said, "I suppose you already know there is more to the preacher than meets the eye. He will be … welcomed, for the most part, and his presence with Zoe and Kaylee should give them clear passage to the Cortex mainframe."

Mal had asked her directly, "What do you know about Shepard Book?" His curiosity would remain unsated, however.

Selene considered her answer carefully. She did not give this recommendation lightly; she and River went for a long walk through the preacher's mind before making their plan for this team. "I have encountered Shepard Book before, Captain. It was a lifetime ago, for both of us. It seems to both River and I that he is sincere in his … present vocation. I have no doubt that he will carry out his mission and protect the others. As for what I know about him, and the life he used to have, it is not for me to say. I would suggest you ask him."

Mal guffawed. He hadn't pried too deeply into Book's past, but it seemed obvious he had some sort of Alliance connections, after that incident where he was shot. Book hadn't exactly been eager to share that information with him, and Mal had respected the man's privacy. But now, entrusting the man with his best lieutenant and his little mechanic, meant that he did want some more information, some reassurances, and he planned on getting them, and he decided to take Selene's advice and go straight to the source.

Book listened to Mal's questions, and the little that Selene had told the Captain about him. He nodded. "Of course, Captain, under the circumstances, where I am to be the lynchpin in a dangerous mission involving two of your crew, I would want more information on me too. I am grateful to the assassin, Selene, for not saying what she knows about my past, because that is, firmly, where my former life is: the past. I… I am not proud of that man, Captain, and have tried to make amends for his sins by devoting my life to God. She … Selene, she's changed too. I recognized her when Zoë brought her on board, but the thing she used to be, the creature I once met, that's gone."

"I guess I am asking you to trust me, Captain, for a little while longer. We have been flying together for a number of months now, and I think we trust each other fairly well. I won't let you down, and when I return, you may find some of your questions are already answered. And I'll do my best to fill in the rest then."

Mal raised his eyebrows again. For the captain of this boat, he sure felt left out of the information loop. Yet, he thought, Book had proven himself in a fight, he was loyal to the others on the ship, and had done his share in a number of business ventures. If he were there to spy on them, they would've been arrested by now, he figured.

"Fine" Mal had said, curtly. "I expect some answers when you return, Shepard. I don't like secrets on my ship. And there are a few too many at the time for my liking".

The preparations were made for the second shuttle, piloted by Zoë, to be flown into the Alliance territory and request boarding on the MacArthur. Kaylee had the chip containing the computer virus and instructions from Selene on how to use it. She also had clues from Selene about the locations of the files she needed to delete. She had further, secret instructions from Mal about a file he wanted her to retrieve….

Mal, Wash, Simon, Jayne and Inara were to remain on board Serenity, following the shuttle under the radar, so to speak, should they need to make a quick getaway. Jayne wished that he could do more than sit around, but as Mal pointed out to him, his ident was on the Alliance system, and if they caught on to his presence, he could put the whole mission in danger.

Jayne suspected there was more going on with Selene and River than Mal would tell him. He tried asking Simon, since it seemed he and Selene had something going on, but the doc refused to talk to him about it at all. He tried being nice and everything. Gorramit. He could always ask Selene, he thought, but that would require him to grow a spine and do it. Once again, he cursed his cowardice at not being able to face her. Probably getting things going with the doctor when he interrupted that time. She was just so fine, and he was just a big, dumb merc, and she would more than likely be horrified of his interest in her. At least, that's what he told himself. He was beginning to believe it too, that he had just imagined the look in her eyes in the bar on Bethany, the way her body felt pressed up to his, and her trembling hand, touching his chest, and … okay, that line of thinking had to stop right now. Only so much time a man can spend in his bunk, relieving tension, so to speak.

So he watched her instead, from far away. He kept his thoughts and desires to himself, he was careful not to show any emotion at all when she was around. Little did he know he was fooling no-one else on board, except for maybe Selene herself, because she was scared as well. At that moment, Zoë and Inara had joined River and Selene for their evening Tai-Chi. Kaylee didn't have the patience for it, but she loved watching the slow and studied movements. She was sitting on a crate in the cargo bay, right next to Selene's ship. Heck, that ship took up most of the cargo bay, weren't room to do much of anything down there anymore. And their workouts were blocking his access to his weights; he would have to walk right past the women to get at them. He sighed, guess he had no choice but to just watch.

He watched as they moved, slowly, in perfect unison. He relaxed as he observed them, and suddenly he felt a little tickle in his brain, like a question. He heard River giggle, and Selene telling her to stop. He was staring right at Selene the entire time, and it dawned on him that neither River nor Selene had said anything out loud. They were still practising their Tai-Chi in perfect unison, but both of them were looking up at him. Selene's eyes were locked with his; neither of them looked away for several seconds, until he broke the contact, spooked more than just a little.


	6. Desire

**Desire **

She ran through one last systems check on The Circe. Wash and Kaylee had already checked everything twice, but she had to run it through just once more. She couldn't sleep anyway, although she tried. She had taken the habit of wearing a thin and worn green linen shirt to bed, and not much else. After tossing and turning for an hour, she got up, pulled on her soft brown trousers, and put her hair up in a loose pony tail, rebellious curls still escaping. Might as well make herself useful, if sleep wasn't going to come. She tried to convince herself that this mission was not unlike her information recovery missions, like when she purged the Alliance systems on Ariel of her information, and substituted the identity of a companion in her name. Or when she had broken into the police records to get the info she got on Jayne, Simon, and River. But in her heart, she knew this was different. She was preparing to crawl into the belly of the beast, and to risk being swallowed whole. She was also aware of the danger to the others, that her plan put them in harm's way. She knew there was a reason she usually worked alone.

However, her restless mind countered, together she and River were stronger than either of them could possibly be alone. They were learning to work better as a team, honing their communication, synchronizing their attacks and defences. They would be ready when the fight started, as she had no doubt it would. But it wasn't so much for River that Selene was worried tonight. The reason sleep turned away from her, why she was tinkering with and checking a ship that had probably never been in better shape since it rolled off of the production line 20 years ago: she was thinking about Jayne. Thinking about how he looked at her from his perch on that catwalk this evening. Wondering if he had any idea that her knees had turned to jelly at that very moment.

She had spoken under a dozen words to him since she came on board Serenity, and he had possibly said less to her than that. She felt his absence like a bare foot in a heavy boot, hidden, blistered, hot. The analogy was silly, it might have been River's (sometimes her thoughts ran around in her mind, giggling, breathless, just like she was playing some chasing game with Kaylee). But it described what she felt. All of the people on this ship, they had bonded with one another; they were a family. It made her loneliness that much more difficult to bear. Jayne was the first person in ages to make her feel normal, a regular person, attractive, still a little strange, yet somehow comfortable in her own skin. She knew she had to say things to him before she left, in case she didn't make it back. She just didn't know if he still wanted to hear them. He might have if she had been able to say them that night in the bar. Or the next day, when he was so kind and gentle with her, and she mostly ignored him until he left her alone, but now? It just got more awkward with every hour of every day that passed.

Damn, for someone with companion training, she was sure acting like she didn't have the foggiest idea of what she was doing. That's because it wasn't real before, this isn't pretend. River again, whispering in her mind. River, she thought to her friend, please, I need to be alone in here right now. River retreated. Selene was starting to get used to River and her communicating without words, but after years of not sharing her thoughts out loud with anyone, it was still jarring sometimes, to have them laid bare in your mind for another to see. But overall, the relationship between her and River, their cerebral closeness, actually made her feel more comfortable, knowing that River understood her, in ways she wasn't sure any other person would. But if she wanted Jayne to understand, she would have to tell him. Face to face, using words. Right, she thought with sudden determination, I have to do this, and there's no time like the present.

Jayne was on his way down to his weights, to work off some of the excess energy he just couldn't seem to shake these last few days. Since the others had finally gone to bed, he figured he would have the cargo bay to himself. He knew Selene slept in her shuttle on board the Circe, but he figured it likely that even she would be asleep by now. He was still mad that he hadn't had the courage to talk to Selene, but hey, it wasn't like she was busting down his door to talk to him! She had the doctor for that. Probably didn't help that he was avoiding her neither. He likely would've hid if he heard her coming. So when she stepped out of The Circe as he passed by, he almost jumped out of his skin. Selene too was surprised; the merc's sudden presence (which she hadn't sensed, being too busy going over those words she wanted to say to him) suddenly erased everything she had practiced in her head. Gone, just like that. So, they stared at each other for a full five seconds before either of them made a sound. When Selene laughed, Jayne felt the corners of his mouth go up into a lop-sided grin. "I was just going to look for you" Selene exclaimed, buoyed by his smile. She just decided to forge on ahead, and get that which needed saying said. That didn't mean it came out according to plan. She met his eyes and began.

"I wanted to tell you … to thank you … I haven't been myself these past few days, and you have been … well, you've been sweet. But that's not all I had to say. Um … I … you might've noticed that I … that is, we … oh for heaven's sake" Selene sputtered and stumbled and had no clue where her brain had gone. She needed to get her words out. Jayne's eyes were still amused, locked on hers. She tried again, more direct this time.

"Jayne, back on Bethany, and before that too, but on Bethany, when you asked me to dance, and we had wine … I felt something. I haven't felt that something for a very long time, not recently, for sure. And, I thought … you felt it too. I don't need to analyze it or explain it. I just need to tell you that I felt it, and it scared me. It scares me." Selene paused, and looked down. She hated feeling so vulnerable, and she didn't want to let Jayne see her like this; if he rejected her she was sure the pain would strike her dead. She had never gotten to be a girl, after all, the Academy interfered with that, and she had never put herself in this kind of situation before. Feeling vulnerable. Emotionally open. She continued, her eyes still downcast.

"Jayne, everything and everyone that I have ever cared about was ripped from me and destroyed. My home, my mother and father, friends. Blue Sun hunted them down and killed them, and the only reason was that they were precious to me, a way for them to continue to control me. A means to an end. I have protected myself from being … vulnerable by not letting anyone get close enough to me to be put in danger. I have only a handful of friends, scattered and hidden throughout the systems. My parents are dead. I have no home. There is nowhere that I can go to, a place like on Bethany, and call it home, because they will find me and destroy it. Any good that is in my life is dangerous to me and my continued freedom from Blue Sun. And I tend to be fatal to anything I care about. So, whatever I feel, whatever this is that's between us … I don't know where it can go, because … because I find that I care about you and if they were to find you and hurt you I don't know what I would do. And now I'm going away and before I go I had to tell you this but I'm not sure I'm saying any of this right, because …", Selene babbled.

She finally looked back up and saw that Jayne had a look in his eyes that she had last seen on Bethany. He didn't say a word to her, just somehow closed the few feet of distance between them and grabbed her arm, pulled her into him, and kissed her. His lips moved over hers, demanding and rough. His tongue touched hers, gently at first, then ferociously, exploring her mouth, stealing the oxygen from her lungs, until she was out of breath. His hands were everywhere, pulling her hair free from its ponytail, snaking down to pull her hips into his, back up to her shirt, feeling her firm breasts…. She moaned and broke the kiss, and he moved his mouth down to kiss her neck and shoulders, like a starving man tasting ripe fruit. Her hands seemed to have a life of their own, and it was Jayne's turn to moan as she lifted his t-shirt and ran her hands across his tight, muscled belly and chest, teasing his nipples and feeling his body arch at her touch. His mouth was on hers again, and they lost themselves in sensation: hot, hard, cool, soft, wet, gentle. Jayne had Selene pinned up against the hull of her ship, when he grabbed her hips and lifted her up, and she wrapped her legs around him, Jayne holding her steady. He kept her pinned, but broke their kiss to stare into her eyes, and was gratified to see the desire he felt for her reflected back in her gaze. "Feeling a little … exposed out here in the cargo bay. Permission to come aboard, captain?", he murmured. Selene let her smile develop slowly, seductively, her eyelids drowsy with desire, Jayne thought. Her smile now full and cat-like, she leaned into him and whispered into his ear, "Permission granted, with pleasure". With that, Jayne carried her into her ship, and closed the door behind them with a kick of his foot. The bedroom wasn't so far off.

They just didn't seem to be able to make it there. They would make some progress, then another kiss, the electricity seemed to course through their bodies, their limbs would tangle, and every time they tried to untangle and take a few steps in the right direction, one or the other would be overcome with the impulse to caress, which led to more kissing, more tangling of limbs, hands all over. When they finally got to Selene's shuttle quarters, they were both bubbling over with desire. Selene kicked off her boots, Jayne did the same. Selene grappled with Jayne's t-shirt, finally yanking it off over his head, but she managed to rip the seams, the thread stretching and snapping audibly. She was kissing him, her lips dancing across his, her tongue darting in and teasing, while her hands worked at his belt and pants' zipper. Jayne tried to help her, but she was efficient and all that he was left to do was kick the pants away from his ankles. He stood before her in only his underwear, and she took in the sight of him, and smiled. She still had her clothes on, and seemed completely in control. He was on fire. She beckoned him towards her, and when he came near, she put one hand on his chest, feeling his heartbeat as it thumped noisily, her other hand brushed his groin, and he breathed in sharply at the sensation. He thought he would explode then and there unless he regained some control, which she appeared unwilling to relinquish. Her hand grew more insistent, tracing the shape of him, pressing gently, now more aggressively. Jayne moaned, and pushed Selene away with one hand, snaking the other behind her back to pull her hips into his. It was her turn to be overwhelmed, as he held her fast at the small of her back, using his free hand to carefully undo the buttons of her shirt, one by one, letting his hand brush her breasts, then caressing her through the shirt, then underneath it. Their hips pressed together, she could feel him through the thin fabric of his underwear, hard, demanding. He moved his hips slightly and they both moaned. He moved her towards the bed, her bed, and lay her down on it. He remained hovering above her, looking at her face and body in awe. Her shirt was unbuttoned but hung at her shoulders, exposing her breasts. Her hair was tousled and messy, her eyes wide and now looked aquamarine, the colour of a stormy sea. His eyes drank her in, a little stunned that a woman so beautiful and smart and amazing was letting him touch her, that she was taking pleasure from him. "You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen" he breathed. Selene smiled, and stretched, her hips rising a little in and said, "But I'm still wearing my pants, Mr. Cobb". He chuckled low in his throat, and said "Let's fix that then, shall we Ms. Nolan?" in a perfect imitation of her companion voice. Selene's eyes went even wider, and she chuckled too. She was delighted that he was playful with her, some men took sex much too seriously. She loved the sensation, the fun. Jayne reclined next to Selene, propped up on his left elbow, while he let his right hand meander over her body, caressing her breasts, teasing her taut pink nipples, over her tight belly, to the fasteners on her pants. He leaned in a kissed her neck, licked her earlobes, and consumed her mouth in another fantastic, oxygen-stealing kiss. By the time she realized her pants were undone, Jayne's hand was pulling them away from her body, leaving her in just her underwear. He played with her as she had with him, stroking her through her underwear, teasing, tickling. She arched her back and moaned, Jayne was grinning at her reactions. She very suddenly turned the tables, by pouncing on him then, pinning his shoulders down on the bed, and straddling him. The underwear between them was an increasingly frustrating barrier, as Selene bent over Jayne, her eyes mischievous, kissing him deeply and at the same time, shifting her hips deliberately to press into his very apparent erection. Jayne was about to come undone, he grabbed her hips and flipped her again, so she was underneath him, and tugged at her underwear. She lifted her hips so he could pull them off her, then sat up and put her hands on his hips, intending to return the favour, and relieve him of the last of his clothing. He complied and with both of them now completely naked, he lay her back down on the bed, supporting her head back onto her pillow. He was so gentle with her, Selene thought, even in the heat of his passion. She wanted him more than ever, and said his name softly.

"Jayne".

He smiled, and answered her, in that same soft and husky tone. "Yes, Selene".

"I thought you didn't kiss on the mouth".

"Who told you that?" He was a little surprised at the comment. And her timing.

"River. She heard you say it a couple of times." Selene wasn't sure where she was going with this, but she after sharing her vulnerability with him, she had a feeling that she needed to know the answer to this one.

"Oh." He considered for a moment. "I guess I never had anyone I wanted to kiss before. I … It's too … close, ya know, like personal. Like a promise."

"Wow." Selene actually was impressed by the simple eloquence and honesty of his answer. "Have you ever… um, kissed someone like that before?"

Jayne looked right in her eyes, and shook his head. "Only once. She … well, she figured out that I was no good. It was a bunch of years ago. I swore after she left that I wouldn't let … that I wouldn't be weak about a woman again. And until I met you, I never thought…". Jayne paused, and took a deep breath, as if he were about to dive into a pool and he didn't know if he could swim.

"I don't know why I feel like this, like I want to… I dunno, devote myself to you or somethin', but I do, and it kinda scares me too, 'cause I haven't felt this way about a girl, not since all those years ago, and you're so pretty, and fancy, and smart, I keep thinking why would she want anything to do with me, and when is she gonna figure out that I'm no good and…" Jayne realized he had been babbling. But Selene's eyes still held his, and they were still full of desire and something else, acceptance, and respect. She put her finger to his lips, stroked his cheek, and pulled his head down for a kiss that left them both breathless.

"I think I know what kind of man you are, Jayne Cobb. And I like him, he's a good man." She smiled up at him. "Mostly. I think I like him even more when he's a little bad…."

Jayne grinned back at her, and traced invisible tracks on Selene's body with his hands, lips, tongue…. And there was no more talking.

She slept only a little, like swimming in shallow water. She would dip beneath the surface of consciousness for what felt like a moment or two, then float back to break the surface of the water. Jayne was her life preserver, she thought. Not letting her drown… actually not letting her sleep was more like it. Every time she drifted off, his hands started moving again, and so it was that neither of them slept much that night. Now, she floated up again, feeling his arms around her, he was snoring lightly. She just lay there in the warming comfort of his embrace for a few moments, she knew they didn't have many left and she wanted to get all she could out of the experience before…. Jayne stirred, nuzzling her hair, tightening his grip on her, kissing her neck. "Good morning, darlin'" he murmured into her ear. Selene tipped her head back and turned to look at him. He looked like a gentle bear, all sleepy and sweet. He smiled and kissed her gently on the lips. Selene knew they had to get moving, but she hadn't counted on the way she was feeling right now.

"I don't want it to be morning yet" she said softly, smoothing his hair. "For one thing, I haven't slept any" she quipped, smiling at him.

"Just wait until you get back, you may never sleep again" Jayne teased. He attempted a leer, but he was as sleep-deprived as her, and not in top leering form. He managed a lop-sided smile instead.

Selene smiled back, then dropped her eyes. "Jayne, I … "

"Shhh. Nothing you need to say"

"But you need to know, I might not have another chance …"

"Shush, woman. I know you have to go, but you will come back, and I already know what's in your heart. In mine too, but I was too dumb or too cowardly to admit to it 'till last night. We're good". Jayne didn't speak of love very easily, and he didn't now use the word itself, but there was no mistaking it, his blue eyes shone as they met hers again.

"We will have a talk when I get back, Jayne Cobb. You may be a man of few words, but there are a few important ones I need to say. But you're right, we can have that conversation when I get back." Selene breathed deeply. "But there is one thing I must say to you before I go. Jayne, I'm not taking River to another doctor. We're going to attack the two handlers that have been tracking us, steal their ship, and use their onboard computer to erase the files on the Tams, and crash their system." Jayne gaped at her; although he had suspected something was up, he had no idea Selene was going to do something so impossibly dangerous, with only River at her side.

"You can't be serious! Isn't that, like, suicide, attacking those guys? They killed eight federal troops in a few seconds, what makes you think that you two girls are gonna stop them? Or do you wanna get captured, River too?" Jayne was angry; he hadn't just put his heart on the line only to have the promise of love snatched away from him like this.

Selene held his gaze. She saw the hurt there, and flinched. But she still held. "I know, it sounds crazy, but we are the only ones who can do this. When River and I work together, we have a very powerful connection; our minds somehow work together, we can hear each other's thoughts, and our abilities, our senses are sharpened. I've taken down handlers by myself before. River and I can do this. I have every intention of surviving this and coming back. Coming back to you, Jayne." His expression softened a bit then, but he wasn't altogether appeased.

"Well then I guess I better suit up, because you're sure as hell not doing this alone, just the two of you" he growled. "You'll need some back-up".

Selene touched his cheek, knowing the frustration he would feel when she told him, "You're not coming with us, Jayne. River and I have to do this, we have the ability to withstand the handlers' weapons. But you don't. If you get near them, they can use a device that will essentially melt out part of your brain. They probably used the same device on those Federals you heard screaming on Ariel. It is a very painful and gruesome death. And I will not allow you to put yourself at risk like that. Besides which, I need you here", Selene finished.

"What for?" he asked, still not liking her plan one little bit.

Selene sighed, and dropped her hand. "If River and I succeed, even if we don't …". When Jayne started to protest, she said, "No, just listen. I told you how River and I have this connection. Not only can we hear each other's thoughts, we can read others much more easily, and sometimes, depending on the person, we can send thoughts to them directly. Whatever happens, good or bad, we are going to try to send a message back to the ship, to Serenity. River's closest to Simon, but she's not sure if Simon will hear her, I guess he's pretty closed up and not … receptive to the experience, at least, not yet. She told me that you were … well, that she had sent words and images to you before, and you have heard her, at least a couple of times. Since we first met, I have read things from you and … you're the person closest to me on this ship, or anywhere for that matter…"

As Selene paused, she held Jayne's eyes with her own. Jayne knew what she was getting at, he was more sensitive and attuned to her after spending three weeks planet-hopping with her than he thought he ever could be to another person. He had developed such strong feelings for her so quick. "I heard you last night, River was in my head, and you told her to quit it, or something".

"You heard that?"

Jayne nodded. As he was appreciating the strangeness of it, he heard her say, "I want you to be the one Jayne. Will you hear me?" and realized that she hadn't actually spoken, but her eyes were still locked on his. She was there, inside his head, soothing and cool, and he could've sworn he tasted apples. Selene smiled at Jayne's stunned expression, and spoke out loud this time.

"I didn't mean to scare you none, it's just that, I've only tried that a couple of times on others, and it's never been so comfortable, moving into another mind before. It's like you opened up to me, welcomed me in."

Jayne didn't know what life would be like, with a woman being able to run in and out of his mind like it had a revolving door or something. He began "So, do you hear everything I'm thinking, or what?"

Selene considered for a moment. "No, I can't hear everything. Before I came here, before I met River, when I really concentrated on a person, I would get more of an image, or like a scent, a smell of an intention. I don't know how exactly to explain it, except that mostly it was imprecise, like seeing the pages of a book flutter by on a breeze, and only being able to make out one or two words. My other senses and my training filled in the gaps."

"With you, it was like you could block me somehow, and although I tried to see what was going on in your head, I only saw blurs. It may have been partially because I had an idea that I would find bad things there, but when I looked I couldn't find them. And you kept surprising me, saying and doing things that I didn't expect".

"Since I've met River, looking into someone's mind is like approaching an entrance that's covered by either a curtain or a door; some things are behind a curtain, and I can move the curtain aside with almost no effort. A door is more work, and sometimes the door is locked. I could force the door open, I think, if I needed to get information out of someone. But I would never open a door or try to get in where you didn't want me peeking. When I'm in there, I can wander around and thoughts are like paintings in a gallery, lined up against the walls".

Jayne grinned, and dropped his voice low. "So, what am I thinking right now?"

Selene grinned back. "I don't need to go into your head to know that, Jayne Cobb!"

They both laughed, then Jayne suddenly grabbed Selene in his arms again and squeezed her close to him. He breathed into her ear, "I wanna hear that you're coming back to me, got that?" Selene clutched at Jayne as desperately as he clung to her, and whispered back, "Got it."

Neither wanted to let go, but a little alarm in the shuttle went off, indicating it was time for Selene to get up, and make the final preparations for herself and River.

Selene pulled away, kissed Jayne lightly on the mouth, and crawled out of bed. She could feel his eyes still on her, but knew their time was up, and she had to go. She went to her washstand, splashed some water on her face, and threw a washcloth in to soak for a quick spongebath. She wouldn't have time for a shower this morning. She heard Jayne behind her, rising from the bed, and approaching her. She didn't turn, instead she grabbed her hairbrush to try to tame her unruly curls into something more practical. Jayne reached around her and took the washcloth, squeezed out the excess water, and said softly "let me do this for you". And with that, he ran the wet washcloth down her neck and back. Selene's body was once again alive with sensation, aching for his touch.

"Dammit Jayne, I don't think this is going to speed things up for me" she said through gritted teeth, trying not to moan. He pressed his naked torso up against her back, while he reached around to wipe the washcloth lazily over her collarbones, dipping down to swirl it over her breasts, and belly. Her hands were in her hair, the brush seemed to be stuck or at least she didn't have the will to try to move it. Jayne's other hand, the one not holding the demon washcloth, was doing its best to ensure that neither of them would ever leave this shuttle.

"I'm trying to be helpful", Jayne rumbled in her ear. Selene was lost, she leaned back into him and moaned low in her throat.

"We so don't have time for this, Jayne". He caressed her breasts with the washcloth again, teasing her nipples, and kissing her neck.

"I know", he whispered. And then he stopped, put his hands on her shoulders to steady her, and stepped away. She whirled around, looking like she wanted to eat him alive. Out of lust or anger, though, he wasn't sure. "I wanted to make sure you remembered what was waiting for you, back here", he teased.

Selene's eyes softened, but only a bit. "I guess we'll both have to keep that remembrance, won't we?" indicating the evidence that he, too, was very glad to see her. She closed the distance between them and kissed him fiercely, possessively. "I will come back, Jayne Cobb. We have something here that I am not willing to walk away from…" and she smiled seductively at him again. And pulled away. "But right now we had better get moving, because a bunch of people are going to be expecting a last briefing before the mission. And our absence is likely to be noticed". Jayne nodded, smiling a little sadly, and turned to find his clothes. She watched him find his underwear and his stretched out t-shirt. She herself pulled out a tank top, clean underwear, and her favourite cream linen shirt. Jayne handed her the brown pants. She took them from him, their hands touching for a moment, and their eyes locking again. "Thanks", she whispered. He was fully dressed and paused, waiting for her. She found her hair brush again, pulled it through her hair, and bound it in a loose pony tail, softer than usual, Jayne thought. She sat on the bed to pull on her boots, and looked up at him. "Jayne, the Captain and Simon know about River's and my mission. But we haven't told the others. If they know, and they are read, it would put us and them in terrible danger."

Jayne nodded, and took her hand in his to help her up. "I'll not say anything, until I hear from you. And I expect you not to leave me waiting, girl". Selene put her arms around him and hugged him close. He smelled her hair and willed himself to remember every curve of her face and body, every muscle, the softness of her skin, and the scent of apples. She felt his concern, she shared it. She memorized his strength, the corded muscles, his large, calloused but surprising gentle hands, the blue of his eyes, the smell of cinnamon on his skin, the sounds he made deep in her chest…. And she had to pull away before they became unable to leave the shuttle. Jayne understood completely, being close to her was like being on fire, and he was liking the feeling of burning up from the inside.

"Let's get on with it then, shall we? Get this mission over with so we can continue this … conversation". She smiled, and so did Jayne. He nodded, and they went to the mess hall together.

The others could see the change in both Jayne and Selene, it was fairly obvious that whatever was between them these past few days was now acknowledged by both of them. River looked questioningly at Selene, but didn't try to go into her mind. Selene smiled at her, and without words whispered that she would explain more later. River could feel the joy in Selene, and she grinned at both of them.

Selene was all business then, instructing Book, Zoe and Kaylee on the location of the Cortex mainframe, and how they were going to get there.

"You're getting the grand tour from Commander Elliott Wong of the MacArthur".

Zoe snorted. "You must be kidding? Won't it be a little difficult to breach the Cortex security system while on the official guided tour?"

"Actually, no. Shepherd Book has made a special request on behalf of his niece, that would be you, Zoe, to view the Cortex mainframe to study its design for implementation of a parallel system on some of the outer worlds, that don't yet have full Cortex access. Your cover will be an engineer. Kaylee here will be your assistant, and any poking around that you do will be completely authorized by the Commander. Before the virus gets fed in, though, Shepherd Book will have to fall ill, create a diversion, and Kaylee, I'll show you a sequence to feed in the Cortex that should show up as a power surge on the internal grid. They'll then think that the crash, when it happens, was as a result of an unrelated power surge, and not to anything you or Zoe were up to -— and they won't suspect my virus. That should also mean little or no trouble for Book and the rest of you when you're ready to leave the Magellan. Any questions?"

Zoe and Book shook their heads, Kaylee said "Nope" in her usual cheery fashion.

Selene turned her attention to Mal. "Captain, River and I should be underway. I have made arrangements with the doctor to meet in sixteen hours on a moon outside the Sweetwater system".

Mal knew that Selene was telling him the approximate location of the handlers' vessel that she and River were planning to attack, to stay away from it but to watch for them after six hours. They had discussed how long it should take Book, Kaylee and Zoe to carry out their mission, and Selene told him she and River would make some calculations, adding ten hours for the benefit of the others. He nodded, looking concerned, and had a look over at Jayne. The big man looked positively miserable with the thought of Selene going. Mal realized that she must have told him the real nature of her and River's mission, and Mal was ready to take the merc out and confine him to quarters to keep him from spilling the information to the rest of the crew. But Selene also caught Jayne's expression, raised an eyebrow at him, and as Mal watched, Jayne recovered, his expression went all neutral again, and he kept his mouth shut. The others in the room were saying their goodbyes now, and Selene smiled at Jayne warmly. He surprised the entire room, Selene included, by picking her up and grabbing her in a bear hug, squeezing her tight for a moment before releasing her to the deck.

Then he grabbed River in the same way and hugged her too. Simon looked apoplectic, Mal saw, and the rest of the crew was baffled by the demonstrative Jayne. But he tried to cover it by saying "You girls be careful out there. I want ya staying outta trouble and getting River here fixed up good." Jayne met Simon's startled expression and nodded slightly, that smallest expression letting Simon know that he knew too, that they both were being left behind while their two most precious girls went gallivanting off to do battle with their biggest demons. Then Jayne threw his arm around the doctor's shoulders, saying "We'll be waiting for ya, so hurry back!" cheerfully. Simon's mouth was agape and he actually winced a little from the force of Jayne's affectionate squeeze.

Mal just shook his head. Time to break up the party and get going. "Alright everyone, lovefest is over, let's get some work done." And with that, Selene and River, both a little shaken by Jayne's goodbye, left the mess to board the Circe. Selene gave one last look at Jayne, and whispered as she passed, "Listen", and then she was gone, the soft smell of fresh apples following her.

Book and Kaylee left next; with one last hug, Wash let Zoe follow them.

Mal and Wash returned to helm control, Inara to her shuttle, and it was just Jayne and Simon left. Simon muttered something about getting back to the lab, when Jayne stopped him, touching him on the shoulder. Simon turned back, as Jayne said, "Doc, they'll take care of each other. Don't you worry…". It sounded a little like he was trying to reassure himself as well as Simon.

The doctor sighed, resigned. "I hope so". And with that, Simon returned to medical, and Jayne was left alone, with his thoughts.


	7. Justice

Chinese translations:

kong jian la ji: space junk  
bi zui, xiao mei-mei: shut up, little sister

**Justice**

As Selene anticipated, the crew of the Alliance cruiser MacArthur practically fell over themselves to accommodate "Shepherd" Book and his guests. Book asked all the appropriately interesting questions, and made the appropriate flattering comments as to the efficiency of the command cruiser, which prompted Captain Wong to glow with pride, and embellish his descriptions of every little working of the vessel. Kaylee was trying her damnedest not to roll her eyes. She looked around at the impressive, metallic and polished structure Captain Wong seemed so enamoured with, but she found it cold, sterile, lacking the sound like a beating heart that she found on Serenity. Can't even get your hands dirty on this kind of ship, everything sealed off and controlled by panels and switches miles away from the real engines. And those engines, they weren't alive like Serenity's. She managed to keep her expression from Captain Wong, but poor Zoë got an eyeful every time Kaylee turned around. Zoë stifled a smile; she understood exactly what Kaylee felt, yet it was hard to keep in character with the little mechanic's eyes practically rolling out of her pretty head.

When they arrived at the Cortex mainframe, Kaylee got to work, and Zoë and Book continued to ask Captain Wong questions that required thoughtful, detailed answers. The captain was suitably distracted, what with Book's enquiries and Zoë's. Zoë didn't much understand technical inquiries about stuff like grid load limits, ratios of dish space to transponders, and so forth, but Selene had made her memorize and practice these questions. The purpose was to hide what Kaylee was really doing -- although she appeared to be taking readings with a small vid unit, Selene had loaded a program that was helping Kaylee hack into the mainframe and search the enforcement database for the files on Jayne and the Tams. She had found most everything on them, uploaded them to her unit, and deleted them from the mainframe. The only thing she was having a mite of trouble with was the file Mal had asked her to find. He had taken her aside, just before they left, spoke to her quietly, warned her to not let anyone else know she was looking for it. If she couldn't find it soon…. Aha! That was it, she uploaded it, but left the original on the mainframe, as Mal had instructed.

Kaylee looked up, catching Zoë's eye. "Hey, Zoë, come check out this transistor, it actually acts as a double failsafe …", blah blah blah, feedback loop, blah blah. Zoë wandered over to where Kaylee was crouched, only half listening to the girl as she eyed Book with some concern. The next move was up to him.

Selene had considered everything. She had asked the doctor for a little help on this one —- a capsule kept in the teeth, bit down upon at the appointed time. It would simulate a mild heart attack to the Alliance medical team, and allow Kaylee time to feed in the virus.

Book was listening attentively to Captain Wong when he got an odd look on his face, and requested a glass of water. The doctor had told him it would be a little disconcerting, this drugs he was carrying, but Book was feeling a bit more jarred than that. His heart really was racing, and he was growing faint….

As Book collapsed, Zoë rushed to his side, the officer calling for medical assistance, and Kaylee quickly did her work.

A little less than two hours later, on the shuttle, Book was smiling up weakly at Zoë as he lay back on a stretcher, and Kaylee took them out of the Alliance ship's range. Captain Wong had at first been insistent on Book remaining in their medical facilities for observation, but when their systems mysteriously crashed, Zoë was able to convince him that her "uncle" would be better off with his private doctors, only a few hours away by shuttle. Captain Wong reluctantly agreed, as he explained rather sheepishly that the medical facilities of the MacArthur were at this time working only sporadically as the Cortex "malfunction" had required a power down of all systems, which then had to come back on line in stages. It would be many hours before his engineers could guarantee full functionality to the medical bay.

"How are you feeling, preacher? That was some performance back there. You even had me worried there for a spell", Zoë had Book's hand in hers.

Book looked tired, but relieved. "Well child, you'll have to thank the good doctor for your anxieties, and mine too. That capsule of his did the trick, almost a little too well. Did Kaylee get what she needed?"

Kaylee piped in from her seat at the helm, "Got everything before I shut 'er down! Wait 'till you see Jayne's sheet; it was so long, took near a minute to download it!" Kaylee grinned. Zoë couldn't help but smile back at her, despite the doubts she had about Jayne's rap sheet being as entertaining as Kaylee seemed to suggest.

Instead, she asked "How long 'till we rendezvous with Serenity?"

"About an hour or so", Kaylee chirped. "How're you doing back there preacher?"

Book tilted his head back and said "Better now we're away from that big Alliance piece of kong jian la ji!"

Kaylee laughed out loud. "I couldn't agree more!"

Selene took the Circe around the shadowy side of the planet's moon. She and River knew the handlers' ship would be coming past them any time now; they were breaking planetary orbit and headed back towards the core systems, as Captain Reynolds had filed a manifest saying that's where Serenity was heading. River was anxious, and Selene was trying to keep her focussed, calm. But the anxiety was contagious, spreading through both of their minds. It made them edgier, and sharper with one another than they would have been. Selene tried one more time to instil in both of them the calm she needed to work. She closed her eyes. Picture the mandala, she thought, the lines and colours, the patterns, the intricacies. Let the exploration of it bring peace to your mind, hope to your heart.

River closed her eyes to Selene's voice in her mind. She stilled her worries, was able to push them back as Selene had taught her. Except for one. It nibbled at the edge of her concentration until she allowed it to come forward. Will they be able to make me obey them? The conditioning…. Selene opened her eyes, reached out and touched River's face, stroked her cheek gently. River's eyes opened.

They didn't finish, Selene said into River's mind. You've been near them before and not gone to them. You've resisted and escaped. If they had that kind of control over you, you would not be here now. Focus on what we need to do. I need you with me, River.

River smiled, relieved. She had not let that worry out of its cage before, and she was gratified at how quickly Selene was able to grasp her fears, and reassure her. Now it was her turn to relieve Selene of her worries. She put her hand over Selene's, which was still gently stroking her cheek. I'll be strong, she thought. You're my anchor and today I'll be your sword. You have to get back to him. Neither of you is sated ….

Selene dropped her hand from River's face, raised her eyebrows and thought bi zui, xiao mei-mei! But too late, she felt the blush creep up her body right into her hairline. Damn!

River giggled out loud, and she was almost skipping and twirling through Selene's mind now, teasing her. Selene had to shake her head and said "River" out loud before River snapped back to herself. Selene looked into River's eyes. What did you see?

River, sobered a little by Selene's harsh manner with her, said out loud, "I didn't mean to, it's just you keep thinking about him and the images pop into my head. I know it's private and I try to ignore them, but they … overwhelm me." She reached out and put her palm on Selene's upper sternum, where she could feel her heart. "Here. This is where he lives. The images I get, they come from here. You're scared of him being there, but he makes you stronger."

Selene's eyes were wide, meeting River's, and she put her hand over the girl's on her chest. "I am. Scared. I haven't never had this much to lose in a long time. The last time I lost … everything. My family, my home…. I can't afford to lose now …. Not him, not you". River smiled back at her.

"We won't lose. We can do this, together we are stronger than they ever imagined."

And just then, the Circe's proximity alarms sounded, a claxon warning that the Handlers' ship was about to come around the moon. River held Selene's eyes, still smiling. Time to go to work, she said in her mind. Selene's answering smile was feral; let's go, she thought.

The Handlers didn't know what hit them. The Circe shot out from behind the moon, on a collision course with the small Blue Sun vessel, Twilight. The handler piloting Twilight veered sharply to avoid a crash, but the Circe managed to hit their starboard stabilizers, and Twilight started tumbling towards the moon. The Circe kept forcing Twilight to the moon's surface, and it was all he could do to land the ship and not be obliterated by either the moon's gravity or the Circe, buzzing madly around Twilight like a mosquito. He couldn't even get the ship's weapons trained on the small Mermaid.

River and Selene were ready when they landed the Circe on top of the damaged Twilight -- they could access the handlers' ship through her upper bulkhead hatch, which they removed quickly. They entered the Twilight, no guns (at River's insistence, and Selene's hearty agreement), just Selene's favourite knife, their fighting skills, and a thirst to take back that which had been stolen from them. Handlers wouldn't stand a chance….


	8. Revenge

Chinese Translations: bi zui – shut up  
dong ma – understand  
kuai qu yuan de di fang – get far away very fast  
lao tian ye – oh god no  
mei you yan chi – without delay 

Revenge 

Jayne was bugging Wash, looking over his shoulder, asking what buttons did what, generally just being a pest. Wash was ready to ask the doctor to slip Jayne a knockout cocktail just to get him to shut up and leave him alone. He even had to put away his dinosaurs, Jayne had kept fiddling with them.

For his part, Jayne was trying to keep distracted. He had tried sitting in his bunk, but the walls seemed to press in and made him all crazy; working out didn't help; and both Simon and Mal had told him in no uncertain terms to leave them alone -- he had already bugged them as much as he dared. That left Inara and Wash. Inara had locked herself in her shuttle after he followed her around while she was trying to prepare a snack, asking her questions about being a companion, her clients, incense, and anything else that popped into his head. So, here he was, in the cockpit with Wash. Trying not to think about two girls out in the darkness of space, fighting for their lives. And trying not to feel the cold grip of fear around his heart. He pointed at a light blinking on the console. "What's that for?" he asked the harried pilot.

Wash still sounded and appeared to be patient with Jayne, miraculously, as his real feelings on the subject were that he was very far indeed from patience. He was, as always, a little worried about Zoe, being in enemy territory and all. Jayne's sudden interest … no, bizarre curiosity of everything in the cockpit was making the pilot jittery. Luckily, the blinking light was an incoming message from Serenity's shuttle, and Wash eagerly answered it. Kaylee's face came on screen, and Wash smiled to see her.

"Hey Kaylee, back so soon? How's everyone…?"

"We're all shiny, Wash; Book and Zoe say hi. We should be at the rendezvous point in about 20 minutes. Tell the Captain all went according to plan, and we'll be home soon?"

"Will do Kaylee, thanks. Tell my wife I missed her, will ya?"

Kaylee giggled. "Tell her yourself in 19 minutes, Romeo! Shuttle out." The vid screen went dark again, and Wash sighed. Everything was fine. That's when he noticed Jayne, still hovering behind him. He frowned.

"Jayne, shoo, I have to get the rendezvous coordinates. It's very difficult to drive with you pestering me. And blocking my instruments." With that, Wash waved his arms to move Jayne away.

Jayne was relieved that Kaylee and the others were safe and on their way back, but it just reminded him again of how much danger Selene and River were in, and how much he wanted to hear they were safe too. Tried to hide his anxiety from Wash, and stepped away from his flailing arms, muttering, "Fine, I'll go tell the Captain that the others are on their way".

Wash was preoccupied and said nothing further as Jayne stalked off to find the Captain. He found him in the infirmary talking with Simon. Jayne's appearance at the entrance stopped whatever conversation they'd been having, but Jayne didn't care at all. "Kaylee and the others just checked in; we meet in about 20 minutes". He directed his comment to both Simon and Mal; Simon had lots to worry about with Kaylee and his sister gone. Mal nodded.

"Alright, this day is half over. Let's get our people on board and … "

Just then, Jayne kinda slumped against the doorframe, his eyes unfocussed, far off, like he was gonna faint. Mal and Simon each took a step towards him, but he held up a hand to wave them off. His head was fuzzy, like he was drunk, really drunk, ready to throw up drunk, and he wondered if this could be…

Jayne? The question appeared in his brain. It was Selene. He didn't know if she could hear him, though. Damn, he hadn't thought about that. If he only … no, just stop and listen Jayne, clear your mind, you have to hear what she has to say, he told himself.

Jayne, we're safe. River and I are okay, but the Handlers …

"Jayne, you okay?" Mal interrupted and he couldn't hear her anymore.

"Bi zui fer crying out loud" Jayne snapped back at the Captain, who stared at him like this was the day, the very day, he was going to throw Jayne out an airlock. Seeing Mal's face, Jayne tried to explain, fast. "It's them, Selene and River, dong ma? Sending me a message, but I can barely hear …" and with that Jayne's eyes glazed over and he drifted off again.

… they're dead and we have their ship … damaged … main computer links booby trapped … set off EMP, we're stuck … engines … Handlers ordered reinforcements … Serenity … kuai qu yuan de di fang … REAVERS.

"Lao tian ye" Jayne breathed, as he came out of his trance and saw Simon and Mal staring at him. "We gotta get the others, and get outta here NOW".

Mal raised an eyebrow. "Um, who's the Captain of this ship? Because, unless there's been a vote, or something, I think that would be me, and …".

Jayne didn't let him finish. "Reavers. On their way here. Now." His eyes were full of barely contained fear. Gorram Reavers! They needed to get the others, all of them. Get far away very fast. That's what she said.

"Are they okay? River, and Selene I mean?", Simon's concern for his sister stronger than his fear of Reavers.

Jayne looked at the doctor with compassion, knowing his fears. He nodded. "I think so. Selene said they were okay, but stuck. Blue hands used an EMP on 'em, disabled their ship. Then sent the Reavers after us." He looked over to Mal. "Got the feeling it was urgent we get outta here."

Mal looked sceptical, like he didn't quite believe what the merc was telling him, that "hearing" people in your head was no way to plan your day, but then again, what did he know. He knew Selene and River were both strong readers. Maybe they could send messages. Not completely impossible, he thought. He'd hinged his plans on flimsier stuff. Better to be safe, especially if Reavers were in the equation. He had made his decision. He hit the coms, announcing through the ship, "Company's coming folks, and I don't just mean our own. Looks like we may have Reaver trouble. Wash, get us to the rendezvous point mei you yan chi, then find us a likely planet to lose the Reavers. Send a message to the shuttle and get them to hustle." He went to leave the infirmary, get to the helm, but Jayne, still blocking the doorway, grabbed his arm.

"Cap'n, let me get the girls, I can take Inara's shuttle …".

Mal shook his head. "No way, Jayne, you wouldn't last five minutes against a Reaver attack, and I'll need you and Vera if we get boarded by those summbitches." He paused, looking into Jayne's eyes, and seeing the concern there, stated, "We'll leave no-one behind". Mal turned to look at the doctor behind him, to include him in that statement. Simon's expression was pinched with worry, but he nodded. Mal turned back to Jayne, who also nodded. He wasn't happy, but the Captain was likely right. Shuttle weren't no match for a Reaver ship, and the reassurance that he hadn't forgotten about River and Selene, that was enough for Jayne. Captain would find a way. Always did.

"I'll suit up" Jayne said simply, and stalked off to get his body armour and his favourite gun.

Simon's face was a reflection of his devastation, knowing his sister was in danger, and Kaylee too, and being powerless to help. Mal saw his distress, thought it might be a good thing to keep him busy. "You're with me, doc" he ordered before striding off to the helm.

Jayne was back up at the helm with Mal, Simon and Wash, all of their expressions grim. He had Vera strapped around him, and had flung a super-fine chain mail armour vest over his usual t-shirt. They were only about two minutes from the shuttle, Wash having taken the Captain's direction to hustle very seriously indeed, when they saw the readings. Reavers. Coming in fast. It might not be as easy as last time to lose them, they were all thinking it. Especially if they were sent after them. Mal frowned at that thought, then turned to Jayne. "How does a person send Reavers?"

Jayne kept looking at the vid, and shook his head. "She didn't say how, and what I got was kinda in pieces, flashes, like on a broken comm." He looked up at Mal. "What I gathered was the Handlers sent some sorta reinforcements to find Serenity, that we had to go, cause they was Reavers". Mal and the others were all looking at him kinda funny now. Jayne realized it sounded pretty strange, a girl sending him messages to his brain, but he hadn't needed to question it at all. He knew it was her. Trusted her completely. He shrugged, and looked back at the readings which Wash was now studying.

Simon spoke next, to no-one in particular. "If the Handlers could somehow command the Reavers, wouldn't that mean …", he started, wondering for a moment where he was going. His eyes were wide as he realized the connection. "Reavers, or at least these ones, were trained or perhaps even created by Blue Sun! That means there must be a way to stop them, some command or…."

Mal caught on to the doctor's idea and looked a little less grim, if only for a moment. "Is there anything in your research on River that might give us an edge here, doc? Cause we sure could use one".

Simon finally felt useful, and determined to succeed. "I'll go check my notes. And the scans we took of River on Ariel. There may be something…".

"Go." Mal didn't need to order him; Simon was already turning to leave.

As Simon was making his way down to his quarters, Mal announced the shuttle's successful docking, which relieved Simon somewhat. At least he could stop worrying about Kaylee. He hadn't been very nice to her these past few days, as he had been too busy worrying about River, and trying to keep her mission a secret.

Serenity hit atmosphere of some world; Simon supposed Wash was trying to lose the Reavers. He held on to the guard rails for balance as the ship's stabilizers whined from the workout Wash was giving them.

Simon grabbed his notes from his quarters, and brought everything to the infirmary. He had uploaded River's brain scans into the medical mainframe, and wanted to be able to cross-reference all the information quickly. He took in a deep breath; he had to concentrate, something was here, he just knew it.

River had surgeries on her frontal lobes, parietal lobes, and then they dug their way far into her inner brain, picking at her hypothalamus … the place where emotions come from. The place where one could exercise control over those emotions. Selene talked about having a chip installed to resist the control and instructions of the Handlers. Same area of the brain. An electrical impulse might disrupt an ongoing signal, but it was more likely the Reavers would have been programmed, like Selene had been, and then sent on their way to complete their mission. The control would likely be in the hypothalamus…. Working on the assumption they had been programmed thus, it seemed apparent the Reavers wouldn't stop until their mission was done.

So, he would be better off finding a way to overload the programming, he thought. His head hurt. If he had months of research time, he could figure this out, he knew. But with a Reaver ship bearing down on them right now, he had to pull a theory out of his ass and hope it worked. The lives of seven other people depended on him. His headache intensified. He was hearing things. Voices. He stopped, lifted his head from his notes. He was hearing River!

Simon! Her voice in his head, yelling at him. Pay attention! I know you can hear me. Simon grabbed the counter to steady himself; he suddenly felt very dizzy. He tried to concentrate on the sound of River's voice. Simon, the Reavers can be stopped. Selene knows how, but it's complicated. Then River seemed to disappear, and in her place came a flood of images and information, filling his head with soundwave theory and quantum mechanics. And then it was gone. And she was gone.

Simon blinked. He listened. But River was no longer in his head. But somehow, he knew the answer to their Reaver problems was a sound. And he believed he could get Wash to untangle the detailed instructions that, if he hadn't just been hallucinating, River had just stuffed into his brain….

Back on the bridge, Simon repeated to Wash the same thing he had as least three times now. Wash was arguing with him, that he was too busy flying the ship right at the moment, that it wouldn't work anyway, even if they did have time to do the modifications required, and Simon was ready to throttle him. Mal listened intently to the exchange, and after the third time, thought he understood enough to try to implement what the doctor was suggesting.

"Wash, keep those Reavers behind us, and I'll do what the doctor suggests. Simon, grab a kit from the lockers over there, I'll need your help". Simon was startled by the captain's sudden participation, but grateful that he didn't have to waste any more time explaining himself.

Wash was, indeed, very busy flying the ship. They were trying to evade the Reaver ship by diving into an expanse of ocean, Wash dodging reefs, rocks, and other hazards. The Reavers stayed above, following them over the surface of the water. From time to time the fierce grappling hooks pierced the surface, grabbing at the darting firefly, but so far only succeeded in frying schools of silvery fish.

Jayne had positioned himself in the cargo bay, readying some surprises for any Reaver unlucky enough to be the first to try to board Serenity. Zoe planted a charge by the cargo bay doors, and moved some crates to act as a bunker against any assault. Book, although still a bit frail, was arming detonators as fast as Jayne could plant them. Kaylee was in the engine room, trying to tweak a little bit more out of the engines.

Simon had outdone himself, Mal thought. If this works. He hunched over a panel at the communications sub-bank to make the necessary changes to the ship's communications equipment, to project a sound directly at the Reaver ship, and amplify the sound wave in the manner and tone Simon had relayed. With the doctor's help, he had done some patchy re-wiring of the ship's microwave antenna, and now, Mal thought, the whole thing looked ready to go.

"Wash, get us out of the water, and back into the air, but stay in atmo. I need air to carry a big noise to that ship". Wash bared his teeth in a grim representation of a smile.

"Aye-aye, Captain", and with that he shot Serenity out of the water and towards the clear blue sky like an arrow from a taut quiver. And the Reaver ship, slower to manoeuvre, groaned and whined as it tried to match course to pursue. Mal grimaced himself as the Reaver ship began to close the very small space between it and Serenity.

He didn't pray anymore. But that didn't stop him from uttering a brief plea to the almighty to smile kindly upon them as he aligned the communications dish, and threw the switch to let loose an ungodly sound which reverberated through Serenity before blasting out towards the Reaver ship.

Several seconds of ear-splitting noise, like cats in heat screeching in time to an epic German opera, to the tune of an orchestra of jet engines, had all occupants of the ship involuntarily clapping their hands over their ears, as if their brains were about to leap from their skulls.

The pain was intense. Mal, feeling his hands grow damp, removed one to see the bright red blood. He looked up, saw the others, in agony, blood from their ears…. They surely could take no more. Wash appeared to be gesturing to him. Couldn't tell, the noise was killing him. He felt ill….

Simon managed to turn off the signal when Mal passed out. By that time, what Wash was trying to indicate, without taking his hands from his ears, was that the Reaver ship had not only faltered, it had crashed into the ocean below, broken into pieces by the force of its impact. Whatever that sound was, it had not quite killed the crew of Serenity, but certainly did the Reavers some grievous harm.

Wash checked in with the rest of the crew, all accounted for, though each had experienced the same bleeding from the ears. Simon would examine each of them in turn, but Mal was the only one unconscious, and that alarmed the doctor. He called for Jayne to help him take Mal to the infirmary.

…

When Mal awoke, he was surrounded by his crew, his family. All wearing the most ridiculous ear muffs…. He very nearly laughed out loud, but as his hand touched the side of his face, he realized he was wearing a matching set.

Wait, not everyone was wearing them. River, she was unencumbered. And Selene. They made it. Good. He couldn't tell what they were saying, something about Reavers and sound and temporary damage, he really didn't care all that much. He had everyone safe. Good. He slept.


End file.
